What will I learn about: why building emotional walls to look strong actually blocks the connection you need most, and learn how vulnerability acts as a doorway to real support?

Discover why building emotional walls to look strong actually blocks the connection you need most, and learn how vulnerability acts as a doorway to real support.

What will I learn about: why even trained mental health professionals seek therapy to process their own struggles, proving that you have permission to stop pretending everything is fine?

Understand why even trained mental health professionals seek therapy to process their own struggles, proving that you have permission to stop pretending everything is fine.

What will I learn about: use your relationships as reflecting mirrors to uncover your own blind spots, especially when you find yourself trapped in a loop of blaming others?

Learn how to use your relationships as reflecting mirrors to uncover your own blind spots, especially when you find yourself trapped in a loop of blaming others.

What will I learn about: the radical power of deep empathy by looking beneath a person's defensive armor to find their positive qualities and understand their full, complex story?

Discover the radical power of deep empathy by looking beneath a person's defensive armor to find their positive qualities and understand their full, complex story.

What will I learn about: Uncover why the 'presenting problem' that brings someone to therapy is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and learn to look for the deeper, unspoken fears beneath the surface?

Uncover why the 'presenting problem' that brings someone to therapy is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and learn to look for the deeper, unspoken fears beneath the surface.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed

Lori Gottlieb

★ 4.5 / 5(266 ratings)

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Categories:

Psychology Biography & Memoir

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered what’s really going on in your therapist’s head—and what happens when they find themselves needing a therapist of their own?
💡Did you know that the stories we tell ourselves about our problems are often the biggest obstacles preventing us from actually solving them?
💡Are you curious about the surprising secret that connects every person’s struggle, whether they’re a high-powered professional or someone just trying to get through the day?

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Key Takeaways from Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

✓Discover why building emotional walls to look strong actually blocks the connection you need most, and learn how vulnerability acts as a doorway to real support.
✓Understand why even trained mental health professionals seek therapy to process their own struggles, proving that you have permission to stop pretending everything is fine.
✓Learn how to use your relationships as reflecting mirrors to uncover your own blind spots, especially when you find yourself trapped in a loop of blaming others.
✓Discover the radical power of deep empathy by looking beneath a person's defensive armor to find their positive qualities and understand their full, complex story.
✓Uncover why the 'presenting problem' that brings someone to therapy is usually just the tip of the iceberg, and learn to look for the deeper, unspoken fears beneath the surface.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

Mind Map

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

The Presenting Problem+

Defense Mechanisms+

The Four Underlying Fears+

The Power of Connection+

The Freedom to Choose+

Resistance to Change+

Emotional Breakthroughs+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8

What is a patient's 'presenting problem' in the context of therapy?

A. The childhood trauma that caused their current psychological issues.
B. The initial, often superficial issue they claim brought them to therapy.
C. The final diagnosis given by the therapist after several sessions.
D. The specific defense mechanism they use to avoid telling the truth.

Question 2 of 8

When the author first started seeing her therapist, Wendell, what was her primary goal regarding the narrative of her breakup?

A. She wanted him to help her see her own faults in the relationship.
B. She wanted him to diagnose her with clinical depression so she could take medication.
C. She wanted him to externally validate her belief that her ex-boyfriend was a sociopath.
D. She wanted him to teach her coping mechanisms to forget about her ex entirely.

Question 3 of 8

According to Wendell's observations, what deeper fear was the author masking by fixating on her ex-boyfriend's flaws?

A. The fear of financial ruin after losing her book contract.
B. The fear of her own mortality and the feeling that her life was 'half over.'
C. The fear that she was actually a terrible therapist to her own patients.
D. The fear of never being able to have children of her own.

Question 4 of 8

Why did the author's elderly patient, Rita, start getting regular pedicures?

A. It was a doctor-prescribed treatment for her nervous system.
B. She wanted to look her best before attempting to date again.
C. It provided her with a rare opportunity for physical human contact.
D. She was trying to overcome a lifelong phobia of being touched.

Question 5 of 8

What realization caused the author to experience severe anxiety over her lucrative book contract?

A. She realized she lacked the academic credentials to write about psychology.
B. She discovered that the topic of helicopter parenting felt completely meaningless to her.
C. She found out her ex-boyfriend was writing a competing book on the same topic.
D. She feared the book would expose the confidential secrets of her patients.

Question 6 of 8

How did Julie, the 33-year-old college professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, demonstrate the concept of freedom in therapy?

A. She chose to ignore her diagnosis and refused all medical treatments.
B. She quit her job to travel the world alone and avoid her family.
C. She exercised her freedom to choose how she faced her illness by taking new risks, like becoming a grocery store cashier.
D. She successfully sued the hospital that misdiagnosed her, winning financial freedom.

Question 7 of 8

Why did Charlotte consistently find herself attracted to emotionally unstable men?

A. She believed she could 'fix' them and prove her worth as a partner.
B. She unconsciously associated love with anxiety due to her parents' volatile relationship.
C. She was rebelling against her therapist's advice to date more conservative men.
D. She suffered from a neurological condition that impaired her judgment.

Question 8 of 8

What generally triggers a major breakthrough moment for a patient in therapy, according to the text?

A. Finding a way to openly express deeply buried and repressed emotions.
B. Finally receiving a definitive medical diagnosis for their physical symptoms.
C. Successfully convincing the therapist that their presenting problem is their only issue.
D. Realizing that they no longer need human connection to be happy.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — When patients start therapy, their problems are often deeper than they first seem.
32 — Patients often enter therapy believing unhelpful stories they’ve built around their problems.
43 — Therapy patients rely on defense mechanisms to avoid the truth, and therapists must look past them.
54 — Therapy often centers on losing and restoring human connection.
65 — Therapy also often centers on losing and restoring a sense of meaning in a patient’s life.
76 — Regaining a sense of freedom is one key to recovery.
87 — Our resistance to change can make it hard to use our freedom and choose a healthier path.
98 — Letting our emotions out is the key to lowering our guard.
109 — Final summary

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Summary & Overview

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone (2019) is a unique memoir in which the author, a psychotherapist, tells the story of how she herself ended up on a therapist’s couch after descending into a personal crisis of her own. By reflecting on her experiences as both a therapist and a patient, and by relating them to the stories of four of her patients, she came to a better understanding of both her profession and herself.

Who Should Listen to Maybe You Should Talk To Someone?

Curious minds interested in how therapy works in practice
People suffering from personal, emotional or psychological problems
Those who are feeling lost and looking for some direction

About the Author: Lori Gottlieb

Lori Gottlieb is an American psychotherapist and writer who lives in Los Angeles. She is the author of the New York Times bestseller Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough (2010) and the Los Angeles Times and Washington Post bestseller Stick Figure: a Diary of My Former Self (2000). She is a contributing editor for The Atlantic magazine, where she also writes a weekly advice column called “Dear Therapist.” Her writing has appeared in many other high-profile publications as well, including the New York Times Magazine, Slate and O, The Oprah Magazine.

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to Maybe You Should Talk To Someone — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from Maybe You Should Talk To Someone

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone — Full Chapter Overview

Maybe You Should Talk To Someone Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to Maybe You Should Talk To Someone?

About the Author: Lori Gottlieb

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