Loving Bravely audiobook cover - Twenty Lessons of Self-discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want

Loving Bravely

Twenty Lessons of Self-discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want

Alexandra H. Solomon

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Categories:
Sex & RelationshipsPersonal Development

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Loving Bravely
Relational Self-Awareness+
Reframing Narratives+
Navigating Cultural Norms+
Expectations and Soulmates+
Sex and Physical Intimacy+
Handling Conflict+
Apologies and Forgiveness+
Presence and Self-Compassion+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 10
What is 'relational self-awareness' as described in the book?
  • A. Knowing exactly what physical and financial traits you want in a future partner.
  • B. Understanding your own personality, needs, and the relationship patterns you learned as a child.
  • C. The ability to accurately read your partner's emotions and body language in any situation.
  • D. Compromising your own desires constantly to maintain harmony in a relationship.
Question 2 of 10
Why does the author recommend telling 'dialectic stories' about our partners?
  • A. They help us create a fairy-tale romance that mirrors Hollywood movies.
  • B. They allow us to completely ignore our partners' flaws and focus only on the positive.
  • C. They are more nuanced, leaving room for a partner to be both flawed and loving at the same time.
  • D. They help us convince our partners to adopt our point of view during arguments.
Question 3 of 10
According to the text, how should individuals approach cultural norms regarding dating and gender roles?
  • A. They should strictly adhere to them to avoid societal stigma and relationship failure.
  • B. They should critically examine them and only adopt the ones that align with their authentic selves.
  • C. They should reject all cultural norms entirely because they are inherently toxic.
  • D. They should rely on media like Hollywood movies to understand true romantic passion.
Question 4 of 10
What did social psychologists Spike W. S. Lee and Norbert Schwartz discover about people who believe in 'perfect matches'?
  • A. They are more likely to be disappointed and dissatisfied in their relationships.
  • B. They tend to have longer-lasting marriages than those who believe relationships take work.
  • C. They are better at communicating their emotional and physical needs.
  • D. They are more likely to forgive their partners for major transgressions.
Question 5 of 10
What is the necessary first step to having good sex with a partner, according to the book?
  • A. Watching educational media together to learn new techniques.
  • B. Having a deep emotional conversation about past romantic relationships.
  • C. Understanding your own sexuality, turn-ons, and boundaries by yourself.
  • D. Ensuring that your partner initiates physical intimacy first.
Question 6 of 10
How does taking a reflective pause help during an emotional conflict with a partner?
  • A. It allows you to formulate a stronger counter-argument to win the fight.
  • B. It gives your partner the silent treatment, which teaches them a lesson.
  • C. It helps transform a simple 'linear conflict story' into a more nuanced 'systemic conflict story.'
  • D. It completely and permanently eliminates the human fight-or-flight response.
Question 7 of 10
Which of the following is an example of an 'intimacy-inviting phrase' to use during a conflict?
  • A. 'You always do this to me...'
  • B. 'Why didn't you just listen...?'
  • C. 'I feel that...'
  • D. 'You never think about my feelings...'
Question 8 of 10
What is an 'amends action' in the context of apologizing for a major transgression?
  • A. A verbal declaration that you will never make a mistake again.
  • B. A purposeful action meant to demonstrate the depth of your regret and fix the pain caused.
  • C. A legal document signed by both partners to establish future relationship rules.
  • D. The act of the wronged partner forgiving the transgressor immediately without holding a grudge.
Question 9 of 10
Besides putting away technology, what internal practice is crucial for remaining fully present and open to receiving love?
  • A. Self-compassion
  • B. Hyper-vigilance
  • C. Emotional detachment
  • D. Linear storytelling
Question 10 of 10
Why does the author suggest interviewing your parents as an actionable step?
  • A. To gain financial independence from them before committing to a partner.
  • B. To confront and blame them for your current relationship failures.
  • C. To reflect on their struggles and triumphs, helping you see your own relationship patterns in a new light.
  • D. To convince them to adopt the name-connect-choose method in their own marriage.

Loving Bravely — Full Chapter Overview

Loving Bravely Summary & Overview

Loving Bravely (2017) is a primer on finding love through introspection and self-discovery. This guide to love teaches invaluable lessons about how to build relationships that actually last.

Who Should Listen to Loving Bravely?

  • Lonely hearts looking for love
  • True romantics seeking lasting relationships
  • Anyone curious about the psychology of attachment

About the Author: Alexandra H. Solomon

Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and an assistant professor of psychology at The Family Institute at Northwestern University. A sought-after expert on topics of love and romance, her work has appeared in O, the Huffington Post, and the Atlantic.

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