What will I learn about: how to shift from 'outside-in' performance to 'inside-out' sexuality, allowing you to silence external expectations and experience genuine pleasure?

Discover how to shift from 'outside-in' performance to 'inside-out' sexuality, allowing you to silence external expectations and experience genuine pleasure.

What will I learn about: Learn why mastering a clear, confident 'no' is the secret to unlocking a full-bodied, authentic 'yes' driven by genuine desire rather than obligation?

Learn why mastering a clear, confident 'no' is the secret to unlocking a full-bodied, authentic 'yes' driven by genuine desire rather than obligation.

What will I learn about: the 'Name-Connect-Choose' framework to navigate intimate decisions with self-awareness, ensuring your choices stem from love rather than fear?

Master the 'Name-Connect-Choose' framework to navigate intimate decisions with self-awareness, ensuring your choices stem from love rather than fear.

What will I learn about: Apply the 'Golden Equation of Love' to understand how both partners' emotional baggage interact, helping you navigate intimate moments with compassion instead of self-blame?

Apply the 'Golden Equation of Love' to understand how both partners' emotional baggage interact, helping you navigate intimate moments with compassion instead of self-blame.

What will I learn about: the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire to stop judging mismatched sex drives and realize that arousal often emerges from emotional closeness?

Understand the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire to stop judging mismatched sex drives and realize that arousal often emerges from emotional closeness.

Theme Song

Taking Sexy Back

How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want

Alexandra H. Solomon

★ 5.0 / 5(1 ratings)

Start ListeningDownload QR code that opens AudiobookHub on the App Store

Try free on iPhoneScan to start in 5 seconds

Categories:

Personal Development Communication Skills Sex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why "sexy" often feels like a performance for others rather than an authentic expression of your own desire?
💡What if you could dismantle the cultural shame and conflicting expectations that keep you from truly understanding your own body?
💡Are you curious about the secret to building intimate connections that are rooted in deep self-awareness rather than external validation?

Listen to Taking Sexy Back — Free Audiobook

Loading player...

Key Takeaways from Taking Sexy Back

✓Discover how to shift from 'outside-in' performance to 'inside-out' sexuality, allowing you to silence external expectations and experience genuine pleasure.
✓Learn why mastering a clear, confident 'no' is the secret to unlocking a full-bodied, authentic 'yes' driven by genuine desire rather than obligation.
✓Master the 'Name-Connect-Choose' framework to navigate intimate decisions with self-awareness, ensuring your choices stem from love rather than fear.
✓Apply the 'Golden Equation of Love' to understand how both partners' emotional baggage interact, helping you navigate intimate moments with compassion instead of self-blame.
✓Understand the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire to stop judging mismatched sex drives and realize that arousal often emerges from emotional closeness.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Taking Sexy Back

Mind Map

Taking Sexy Back

Reclaiming Authentic Sexuality+

Relational Awareness+

Modern Models of Sexuality+

Vulnerability & Trust+

Soul-Based Partnerships+

Holding Space+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7

According to the author, what characterizes 'outside-in' sexuality?

A. Experiencing sexuality primarily through the eyes of others and performing rather than feeling.
B. Focusing heavily on a partner's physical pleasure while ignoring one's own emotional needs.
C. Communicating sexual desires openly and boldly without fear of judgment.
D. Relying on external visual stimuli rather than emotional connection to achieve arousal.

Question 2 of 7

What is the primary purpose of the 'Name-Connect-Choose' framework mentioned in the text?

A. To help partners divide household labor equitably and reduce relationship stress.
B. To guide individuals in moving from self-judgment to self-awareness when navigating intimate choices.
C. To provide a linear model for achieving physical arousal and orgasm during sex.
D. To help couples identify their individual sexual fantasies and act them out safely.

Question 3 of 7

How does Rosemary Basson's model of sexual response differ from the traditional Masters-Johnson-Kaplan model?

A. It suggests that sexual response is strictly a linear progression from desire to arousal, plateau, and orgasm.
B. It emphasizes that arousal is entirely dependent on physical stimulation rather than emotional state.
C. It proposes that desire is always spontaneous and urgent, regardless of relationship length.
D. It suggests that desire often emerges responsively through emotional closeness and context, rather than starting spontaneously.

Question 4 of 7

In the 'dual control model' of sexual response, what do the 'brakes' represent?

A. Physical boundaries that couples establish early in their relationship.
B. Factors that inhibit arousal, such as stress, body image concerns, or unresolved conflicts.
C. The conscious decision to pause physical intimacy to build emotional anticipation.
D. The biological decline in libido that naturally occurs as partners age.

Question 5 of 7

According to the author, what three foundational elements make up 'The Sacred Trio' of healthy sexuality?

A. Risk, self-compassion, and trust
B. Communication, spontaneity, and novelty
C. Desire, arousal, and resolution
D. Boundaries, consent, and experimentation

Question 6 of 7

What is a key characteristic of 'soul-based partnerships' in modern relationships?

A. They rely heavily on traditional gender roles and preset cultural scripts.
B. They prioritize spiritual connection over physical intimacy and sexual exploration.
C. They replace external social pressures with internal guardrails built on self-awareness and open communication.
D. They require partners to eliminate all individual boundaries to merge their identities completely.

Question 7 of 7

What does it mean to 'hold space' for a partner who is exploring their sexuality?

A. Taking the lead in the bedroom to reduce their anxiety about performance.
B. Being a calm, present witness to their journey without urgently trying to fix or improve things.
C. Creating a strict schedule for physical intimacy to ensure consistency.
D. Promptly offering solutions and advice whenever they express confusion or vulnerability.

Taking Sexy Back — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2Sexuality from inside out
3Relationship awareness
4Models for sexuality
5Taking risks jointly
6Truth beyond a template
7Holding space for your partner

Taking Sexy Back Summary & Overview

Taking Sexy Back (2020) is a radical guide to helping women reclaim their authentic sexuality. In a culture that reduces "sexy" to a performance while imposing shame and conflicting expectations, it provides practical tools and mindfulness-based approaches for developing sexual self-awareness, understanding boundaries, and creating meaningful intimate connections.

Who Should Listen to Taking Sexy Back?

Female-identified people seeking to build more authentic intimate connections
Anyone looking for creating more aligned and authentic sexual experiences
Anyone interested in the intersection of identity and sexuality

About the Author: Alexandra H. Solomon

Alexandra Solomon is a renowned relationship expert, clinical psychologist, and professor of the popular "Marriage 101" course. She has helped millions through her Relational Self-Awareness framework and is the author of books Loving Bravely and Love Every Day.