If You're Curious About These Questions...
You should listen to this audiobook
- Did you know that your most heated arguments today might actually be driven by unresolved patterns from your past?
- Have you ever wondered why some conflicts never seem to end, and what it really takes to reach a state of complete resolution and closure?
- What if you could turn every high-stakes disagreement into an opportunity to strengthen your bond instead of pushing people away?
Listen to Getting to Zero — Free Audiobook
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Key Takeaways from Getting to Zero
- Learn how to 'get to zero' and use interpersonal conflict as a powerful tool to save or rekindle your most important relationships.
- Discover why relationship conflicts typically stem from feeling threatened by either too much closeness or too much distance.
- Identify your personal conflict coping mechanisms—posturing, collapsing, seeking, or avoiding—so you can better manage your defensive reactions.
- Master the 'conflict box' exercise to systematically map out your unresolved issues, process your feelings, and take ownership of your role in a dispute.
- Understand how your childhood 'relational blueprint' impacts your adult relationships, and learn why feeling safe, seen, and soothed is essential for navigating disputes.
Getting to Zero — Full Chapter Overview
Chapter 1: Recommendation
Chapter 2: Conflict usually arises from either too much closeness or far too much emotional distance.
Chapter 3: Resolving conflict starts by identifying someone you want to get back to zero with.
Chapter 4: How you were raised shapes how you approach your high-stakes relationships.
Chapter 5: Resolving conflict demands you fully understand the cost of avoiding conflict.
Chapter 6: To resolve conflict, learn to live with your own discomfort and with how the other person experiences conflict.
Chapter 7: Listen until the other person feels heard.
Chapter 8: Resolving conflict requires empathy.
Chapter 9: Grasping the five most common conflicts helps you resolve them.
Chapter 10: You may face roadblocks to reconnection, but you can still ease conflict with agreements.
Getting to Zero Summary & Overview
Getting to Zero (2021) is a guide to dealing with conflict in intimate, high-stakes relationships – those with your family, good friends, and partners. It describes a process for “getting to zero” by achieving resolution and closure after conflict.
Who Should Listen to Getting to Zero?
- Conflict avoiders
- Those who project childhood experiences onto others
- All who want to resolve conflict in their interpersonal relationships
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