Making Great Relationships audiobook cover - Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love

Making Great Relationships

Simple Practices for Solving Conflicts, Building Connection, and Fostering Love

Rick Hanson, PhD

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Categories:
Communication SkillsPsychologySex & Relationships

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Making Great Relationships
Self-Relationship+
Empathy & Kindness+
Navigating Conflict+
Effective Communication+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
According to the text, what is the primary reason the strategies for building better relationships focus squarely on you rather than the other person?
  • A. You cannot control the actions or behaviors of others, only how you relate to them.
  • B. Most relationship problems stem from your own unresolved childhood trauma.
  • C. It is easier to manipulate others once you have mastered your own emotional responses.
  • D. Other people are generally unwilling to put effort into repairing damaged relationships.
Question 2 of 7
When doing the 'I need...' exercise to identify relationship-based needs, what is the ultimate goal?
  • A. To compile a specific list of demands to present to your partner during your next conflict.
  • B. To identify the deep-down feeling you are after and find ways to meet that need yourself.
  • C. To determine which of your friends or family members are failing to support you adequately.
  • D. To convince yourself that you do not actually need anything from other people to be happy.
Question 3 of 7
When practicing self-forgiveness after making a mistake, the author suggests writing down what you are NOT responsible for. Which of the following is an example of something you are not responsible for?
  • A. The initial unkind remark that triggered the argument.
  • B. The lack of an immediate apology after you realized you were wrong.
  • C. The ways in which others misinterpreted or overreacted to your actions.
  • D. The failure to make amends or learn from the situation.
Question 4 of 7
How does the author suggest dealing with 'challenging' people, such as an aggressive relative, while still practicing kindness?
  • A. By unconditionally approving of their actions to avoid triggering further aggression.
  • B. By cutting them out of your life entirely so you can focus only on positive interactions.
  • C. By remembering that kindness is not approval, setting clear boundaries, and venting to a trusted friend.
  • D. By matching their energy to show them how their behavior affects those around them.
Question 5 of 7
According to the text, why is it important to ask what your anger is trying to hide?
  • A. Because anger is usually a manipulation tactic used to control the behavior of your partner.
  • B. Because anger often masks more vulnerable feelings like hurt, jealousy, or regret that need to be worked through.
  • C. Because expressing anger openly is socially unacceptable and damages your reputation.
  • D. Because anger is a toxic emotion that has no practical use in a healthy relationship.
Question 6 of 7
If someone presents a valid critique of your behavior during a conflict, what is the best way to handle it according to the text?
  • A. Defend your intentions first, then apologize for the outcome.
  • B. Own the failing, explore how to avoid it in the future, and move on without tit-for-tat recriminations.
  • C. Accept the critique but immediately point out a similar flaw in their behavior to keep the conversation balanced.
  • D. Dwell on the mistake extensively to prove to the other person how genuinely sorry you are.
Question 7 of 7
What is the recommended approach when communicating your needs or desires to someone else?
  • A. Speak in broad generalizations so the other person doesn't feel micromanaged.
  • B. Focus heavily on past mistakes to ensure they understand why the change is necessary.
  • C. Be highly specific about what you want, such as asking them to hold hands while watching TV.
  • D. Wait for them to notice what you need, as this proves they are genuinely paying attention to you.

Making Great Relationships — Full Chapter Overview

Making Great Relationships Summary & Overview

Making Great Relationships (2023) is a practical guide to building nourishing, healthy, communicative relationships. It shares simple strategies designed to troubleshoot conflict and break unhealthy cycles, as well as best practices for deepening and strengthening positive relationships.

Who Should Listen to Making Great Relationships?

  • Couples who feel stuck in an unproductive relationship dynamic
  • Friends who feel their needs aren’t met by their social circle
  • Colleagues whose interactions are marked by conflict and poor communication

About the Author: Rick Hanson, PhD

Dr. Richard Hanson is a psychologist, a family and couples counselor, and the New York Times best-selling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain, among other titles.

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