The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship audiobook cover - How to have happier relationships and stop being drawn to unavailable men

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship

How to have happier relationships and stop being drawn to unavailable men

Natalie Lue

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Key Takeaways from The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship

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Mind Map

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship
The Fantasy Relationship+
Tactics of Mr. Unavailable+
Common Types of Fantasies+
Traps That Keep You Hooked+
The Root Cause: Insecurity+
Reframing Rejection+
Returning to Reality+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
Why do some women resort to 'fantasy relationships' according to the text?
  • A. They prefer the excitement of imaginary scenarios over real-life dating.
  • B. They are dealing with unavailable men and living off emotional breadcrumbs.
  • C. They want to recreate the whirlwind romances they see in movies.
  • D. They are deliberately trying to manipulate men into committing.
Question 2 of 7
What is the tactic of 'fast forwarding' used by unavailable men?
  • A. Planning a detailed marriage and family life on the first date.
  • B. Rushing through the early stages of a relationship to make things sexual quickly.
  • C. Skipping dates to only communicate via phone calls and emails.
  • D. Introducing the woman to his family immediately to create a false sense of security.
Question 3 of 7
How does 'future faking' keep a woman hooked on an unreliable man?
  • A. He buys expensive gifts to compensate for his bad behavior in the present.
  • B. He continually talks about idealized future plans that never actually materialize.
  • C. He pretends to have a highly successful career that he will achieve soon.
  • D. He makes the woman believe she needs to change her future goals to match his.
Question 4 of 7
In the context of chasing bad relationships, what does 'projection' refer to?
  • A. Magnifying a man's good qualities so much that he seems like a saint.
  • B. Assuming a man possesses the exact qualities you need to solve all your life's problems.
  • C. Focusing solely on a man's wealth or good looks to ignore his flaws.
  • D. Blaming the man for your own relationship insecurities and past traumas.
Question 5 of 7
What is the surprising underlying reason 'dreamers' repeatedly gravitate toward unavailable men?
  • A. They are secretly afraid of true intimacy and use these men to avoid real emotional risk.
  • B. They lack the social skills necessary to attract available, reliable men.
  • C. They believe that they can eventually change a bad boy into a committed partner.
  • D. They enjoy the drama and unpredictability that comes with a toxic relationship.
Question 6 of 7
How does the author suggest reframing a breakup or an unsuccessful date?
  • A. View it as a personal flaw that needs to be fixed before the next relationship.
  • B. Treat it as a temporary setback and try to win the person back.
  • C. Recognize that you co-piloted the relationship and simply lacked the right dynamic, rather than seeing it as a rejection.
  • D. Blame the other person entirely so you can move on with your self-esteem intact.
Question 7 of 7
What is the purpose of thinking of a date as a 'Lego figure'?
  • A. To remind yourself that relationships can be easily broken and reassembled.
  • B. To take time to build an accurate picture of the person gradually, brick by brick, rather than making assumptions.
  • C. To compartmentalize your feelings so you don't get overly attached too quickly.
  • D. To focus on building a strong foundation of friendship before introducing romance.

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship — Full Chapter Overview

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship Summary & Overview

The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship (2012) is aimed at women who expect too much from unavailable, unreliable men, and want to change their ways. By examining the reasons that women delude themselves about men, as well as the specific lies they believe, it ultimately points the way toward happier relationships and more realistic dreams.

Who Should Listen to The Dreamer and the Fantasy Relationship?

  • Women tired of kidding themselves about undeserving men
  • Amateur agony aunts who love giving relationship advice
  • Unreliable men willing to mend their ways

About the Author: Natalie Lue

Natalie Lue is the author of the hugely popular relationship blog Baggage Reclaim. Born in London and raised in Ireland, Lue has written a number of books, including The No Contact Rule and Mr Unavailable & the Fallback Girl.

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