What will I learn about: why expecting a single soulmate to fulfill all your emotional and sexual needs is a damaging myth, and how releasing this pressure can prevent relationship sabotage?

Discover why expecting a single soulmate to fulfill all your emotional and sexual needs is a damaging myth, and how releasing this pressure can prevent relationship sabotage.

What will I learn about: how opening your relationship forces you to confront deep-seated insecurities, allowing you to build a partnership based on profound trust rather than fear and possessiveness?

Understand how opening your relationship forces you to confront deep-seated insecurities, allowing you to build a partnership based on profound trust rather than fear and possessiveness.

What will I learn about: Explore the diverse spectrum of nonmonogamous relationship structures, from casual swinging and fetish exploration to committed polyamorous triads, to find the exact dynamic that fits your desires?

Explore the diverse spectrum of nonmonogamous relationship structures, from casual swinging and fetish exploration to committed polyamorous triads, to find the exact dynamic that fits your desires.

What will I learn about: the crucial communication skills required to navigate nonmonogamy, as continuously negotiating ground rules, boundaries, and consent is the true foundation of a successful open relationship?

Master the crucial communication skills required to navigate nonmonogamy, as continuously negotiating ground rules, boundaries, and consent is the true foundation of a successful open relationship.

What will I learn about: Learn how being honest about your natural attraction to others empowers you to consciously choose either a customized open relationship or a highly intentional, realistic version of monogamy?

Learn how being honest about your natural attraction to others empowers you to consciously choose either a customized open relationship or a highly intentional, realistic version of monogamy.

Opening Up

A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Tristan Taormino

★ 4.1 / 5(151 ratings)

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Sex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why radical honesty about your deepest desires could actually be the secret to building a more secure and lasting partnership?
💡What if you could design a custom relationship structure that perfectly fits your unique needs, rather than following a one-size-fits-all script?
💡Did you know that opening up your relationship could be a powerful tool for radical self-awareness and personal growth?

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Key Takeaways from Opening Up

✓Discover why expecting a single soulmate to fulfill all your emotional and sexual needs is a damaging myth, and how releasing this pressure can prevent relationship sabotage.
✓Understand how opening your relationship forces you to confront deep-seated insecurities, allowing you to build a partnership based on profound trust rather than fear and possessiveness.
✓Explore the diverse spectrum of nonmonogamous relationship structures, from casual swinging and fetish exploration to committed polyamorous triads, to find the exact dynamic that fits your desires.
✓Master the crucial communication skills required to navigate nonmonogamy, as continuously negotiating ground rules, boundaries, and consent is the true foundation of a successful open relationship.
✓Learn how being honest about your natural attraction to others empowers you to consciously choose either a customized open relationship or a highly intentional, realistic version of monogamy.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Opening Up

Mind Map

Opening Up

The Myth of Monogamy+

Forms of Nonmonogamy+

Crucial Foundations+

Emotional Navigation+

Social & Family Dynamics+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9

What is described as one of the most damaging myths about traditional monogamous relationships?

A. That couples must share the exact same hobbies and political views to be happy.
B. That finding a life partner means you will never desire anyone else.
C. That open communication will naturally resolve any relationship conflict.
D. That jealousy will completely disappear once you get married.

Question 2 of 9

According to the text, what distinguishes polyamorous relationships from other forms of nonmonogamy like swinging?

A. Polyamory strictly involves closed groups of three or four people.
B. Polyamorous relationships do not require establishing ground rules or boundaries.
C. Polyamory involves multiple loving, committed partnerships rather than just casual sex.
D. Polyamory is recognized legally in most states, whereas swinging is not.

Question 3 of 9

What is a common misconception about polyamorous relationships regarding commitment?

A. They require a legal contract to be considered valid by the participants.
B. They are inherently immune to breakups because partners can always find someone else.
C. They demand less communication than traditional monogamous marriages.
D. They are less serious and committed because there are fewer legal ways to demonstrate it.

Question 4 of 9

How is breaking an agreement viewed in a nonmonogamous relationship?

A. It is considered as much of a betrayal as cheating in a monogamous relationship.
B. It is expected and easily forgiven since the relationship is already open.
C. It is seen as a sign that the couple should immediately return to strict monogamy.
D. It is usually ignored unless it involves financial dishonesty.

Question 5 of 9

How does the book suggest individuals in nonmonogamous relationships handle feelings of jealousy?

A. Suppress the feeling completely, as jealousy has no place in open relationships.
B. Immediately break off the secondary relationship that caused the jealousy.
C. Acknowledge the emotion, understand its triggers, and use it to identify personal needs.
D. Retaliate by going on a date with someone else to even the score.

Question 6 of 9

What does the term 'compersion' mean in the context of nonmonogamy?

A. The anxiety experienced when a partner goes on a first date with someone new.
B. A legal document used to protect the assets of multipartner families.
C. The agreement to keep secondary relationships completely separate from the primary one.
D. The feeling of vicarious joy and excitement for your partner's other relationships.

Question 7 of 9

Why do many people in open or polyamorous relationships choose to keep their lifestyle private?

A. Because they face real threats of intolerance, such as losing their jobs or child custody.
B. Because secondary partners usually demand strict secrecy to participate.
C. Because they want to avoid the legal fees associated with registering a polyamorous union.
D. Because the lifestyle is considered a passing trend that doesn't require public acknowledgment.

Question 8 of 9

How does the book view the impact of polyamorous relationships on raising children?

A. It argues that children in these families are inherently confused and unstable.
B. It suggests that multipartner families can provide beneficial support, similar to an extended biological family.
C. It insists that children should never be told about their parents' nonmonogamous lifestyle.
D. It claims that polyamorous families must live in isolated communes to successfully raise children.

Question 9 of 9

What specific actionable advice is given to protect alternative families?

A. Open a joint bank account with all partners to ensure financial equality.
B. Move to a state that legally recognizes multipartner marriages.
C. Get legal affairs in order, such as wills and living wills, since state institutions often do not support alternative families.
D. Keep a detailed Google calendar to prove domestic partnership in court.

Opening Up — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2It’s a myth that one person can meet all our needs and desires.
3Nonmonogamous relationships exist in many different forms.
4Nonmonogamy succeeds only when you have exceptionally strong communication skills.
5Agreements are treated as sacred in nonmonogamous relationships.
6To flourish in nonmonogamous relationships, you have to learn to handle jealousy.
7Compersion is one of the greatest gifts of nonmonogamous relationships.
8People in nonmonogamous relationships encounter a great deal of discrimination.
9Polyamorous relationships have the power to reshape our family structures.

Opening Up Summary & Overview

Opening Up (2008) demystifies nonmonogamous relationships, and shows that there are many different ways of creating loving partnerships and building alternative families. By opening up their relationships, people can explore hidden desires, have lots of fun, and radically improve their self-awareness and communication skills.

Who Should Listen to Opening Up?

Open-minded thinkers who want to learn how to improve their relationships
Lovers who want to learn to communicate their desires more honestly
People exploring their sexuality

About the Author: Tristan Taormino

Tristan Taormino is a feminist writer, sex educator, and activist. She’s the author of seven books, including the Firecracker Award–winning The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. She’s also edited several collections of erotica, and directed and starred in pornographic films.

Opening Up

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to Opening Up — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from Opening Up

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Opening Up — Full Chapter Overview

Opening Up Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to Opening Up?

About the Author: Tristan Taormino

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