2 mins

She Comes First

A quick, practical look at She Comes First—what it teaches, how readers rate it across platforms, and the most common praise + critiques.

by AudiobookHub Team | 2025-12-25

A Practical Guide to Pleasuring a Woman—What Readers Love and Where It Falls Short

What She Comes First Is About

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner is a skills-first, anatomy-and-attention approach to partnered sex—written in a "do this better" tone rather than a romance/relationship narrative.

Its core pitch is simple: prioritize her pleasure, slow down, communicate, and treat it like learnable craft, not guesswork.

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Ratings Snapshot (Different Platforms)

| Platform | Rating | Notes |

|----------|--------|-------|

| Google Play Books | 4.6/5 | Based on 141 reviews |

| Audible (audiobook) | 4.1/5 | Based on ~4.3k ratings |

| Goodreads | ~4.2/5 | Editions pages commonly show ~4.2 avg with thousands of ratings/reviews |

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What Readers Tend to Love

- Practical, confidence-building structure: Clear "how-to" framing instead of vague advice.

- Reassuring mindset shift: "Attention + patience + feedback" beats performance anxiety.

- Communication emphasis: Many readers like that it normalizes talking and learning.

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Common Complaints (The "Can't Get Through It" Reasons)

- Tone/style mismatch: Some people bounce off the "instructional/manual" voice.

- Feels dated in places: Parts can read like an older-era relationship/sex advice book (language, assumptions, examples).

- Too technique-heavy: If someone wants emotional intimacy / connection-first writing, it can feel clinical.

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Recent "Heat" (Is It Still Trending?)

It's less "new-release viral" and more evergreen: it keeps resurfacing because it's frequently referenced in modern sex/relationship conversations and recommendation lists—including podcasts discussing oral-sex skill-building and "how-to" intimacy resources.

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Related Reads on AudiobookHub

If She Comes First resonates with you—or if you want a different angle on intimacy and desire—these two are frequently recommended alongside it:

Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

What it's about: Explores how to sustain passion in long-term relationships. Perel argues that too much familiarity can kill desire—and offers strategies for maintaining mystery and eroticism within committed partnerships.

Rating: 4.5★ (484 reviews)

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Come Together by Emily Nagoski

What it's about: The science (and art!) of creating lasting sexual connections. Nagoski offers practical, research-based advice for improving sexual well-being—particularly in long-term relationships where one or more partners may be experiencing low libido.

Rating: 3.7★ (62 reviews)

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The Bottom Line

She Comes First is a practical, no-nonsense guide that treats sexual skill like any other learnable craft. If you want direct, actionable advice without romantic fluff, it delivers. If you prefer emotional depth or a more contemporary voice, pair it with Perel or Nagoski for balance.