The Power of Discord audiobook cover - How Conflict and Repair Build Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust

The Power of Discord

How Conflict and Repair Build Intimacy, Resilience, and Trust

Ed Tronick, Claudia M. Gold

★ 4.7 / 5(3 ratings)
Start ListeningDownload App
Categories:
Personal DevelopmentPsychologyCommunication SkillsSex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

Listen to The Power of Discord — Free Audiobook

Loading player...

Key Takeaways from The Power of Discord

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from The Power of Discord

Mind Map

The Power of Discord
The Value of Discord+
Imperfection in Development+
Regulation and Meaning+
Building Resilience+
Playful Navigation+
Healing and Rewiring+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
According to Ed Tronick's research, what percentage of interactions in healthy, securely attached parent-infant relationships are typically out of sync?
  • A. About 10%
  • B. Approximately 30%
  • C. Around 70%
  • D. Nearly 90%
Question 2 of 7
What is the primary purpose of D.W. Winnicott's concept of the 'good enough mother' who gradually 'fails' her infant?
  • A. To teach the child that the world is inherently unfair and unpredictable.
  • B. To allow the child to develop critical self-regulation skills by managing small disappointments.
  • C. To ensure the parent maintains their own independent identity outside of caregiving.
  • D. To encourage the child to seek out relationships with other caregivers and peers.
Question 3 of 7
How does the book distinguish between self-regulation and self-control when dealing with relationship 'mess'?
  • A. Self-regulation allows us to fully experience emotions while maintaining perspective, whereas self-control relies on rigid constraints.
  • B. Self-control is developed in childhood, whereas self-regulation is only learned through adult romantic relationships.
  • C. Self-regulation suppresses negative emotions to maintain harmony, while self-control manages outward behavior.
  • D. Self-control is essential for meaning-making, while self-regulation often leads to chaotic distress.
Question 4 of 7
What is the key psychological distinction between 'tolerable stress' and 'toxic stress'?
  • A. Tolerable stress occurs in childhood, while toxic stress only occurs in adulthood.
  • B. Tolerable stress is caused by external factors, while toxic stress is internally generated.
  • C. Tolerable stress is successfully repaired, whereas toxic stress is overwhelming and remains unrepaired.
  • D. Tolerable stress triggers a physical response, while toxic stress only triggers an emotional response.
Question 5 of 7
What do psychologists mean by 'implicit relational knowing' in the context of adult relationships?
  • A. The conscious memorization of relationship advice and communication hacks.
  • B. An embodied, automatic understanding of social rhythms and rules, similar to muscle memory in sports.
  • C. The innate ability to avoid discord and maintain perfect harmony with a partner.
  • D. A genetic predisposition that determines whether a person will have a secure or anxious attachment style.
Question 6 of 7
How does Stephen Wolfert’s DE-CRUIT project help veterans process trauma and rewire their stress responses?
  • A. By teaching them conflict resolution strategies through traditional psychoanalysis.
  • B. By having them memorize and analyze modern psychology textbooks on PTSD.
  • C. By encouraging them to avoid situations that might trigger memories of discord or conflict.
  • D. By using the rhythm and breath of Shakespearean theater to reconnect them with their bodily meaning-making systems.
Question 7 of 7
According to the authors, what is a major drawback of our modern 'advice-obsessed culture' regarding relationships?
  • A. It creates the illusion that there is a 'right way' to succeed, reinforcing a perfection paradigm that short-circuits the repair process.
  • B. It provides too many conflicting opinions, causing people to abandon their relationships entirely.
  • C. It focuses too heavily on resolving discord rather than preventing it from happening in the first place.
  • D. It encourages people to rely exclusively on their intuition rather than seeking help from trained professionals.

The Power of Discord — Full Chapter Overview

The Power of Discord Summary & Overview

The Power of Discord (2020) offers a significant reframing of the role discord plays in developing functional relationships. It reveals how moments of mismatch – when followed by repair – actually build trust, resilience, and deeper connection. Through groundbreaking research including the famous "Still-Face Experiment," it offers a refreshing perspective that will transform how you view conflict, showing that working through discord is not just normal but essential for creating lasting, meaningful relationships.

Who Should Listen to The Power of Discord?

  • Parents who want to build healthy attachment patterns with their children
  • Couples ready to transform inevitable conflicts into opportunities for connection
  • Perfectionists who are ready to embrace messiness and grow from mistakes

About the Author: Ed Tronick, Claudia M. Gold

Ed Tronick is a developmental psychologist renowned for his groundbreaking "Still-Face Experiment” and his decades of research on infant-parent interactions at Harvard Medical School. 

Claudia Gold is a pediatrician, infant mental health specialist, and author who integrates developmental science into clinical practice and parenting support.

🎧
Listen in the AppOffline playback & background play
Get App