Conflict Resilience audiobook cover - Negotiating Disagreement Without Giving Up Or Giving in

Conflict Resilience

Negotiating Disagreement Without Giving Up Or Giving in

Robert Bordone, Joel Salinas

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Conflict Resilience
The Cost of Avoidance+
Neuroscience & Self-Awareness+
Emotional Processing (Chair Work)+
Managing Reactions & Deep Listening+
Setting the Table+
Leveraging Your BATNA+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
What does neuroscience reveal about how humans form their opinions and beliefs?
  • A. We objectively gather facts first and form our beliefs based on them.
  • B. Our beliefs often come first, and we find facts to support them later.
  • C. We rely entirely on the parasympathetic nervous system to process logical facts.
  • D. Emotional detachment is the primary driver of rational belief formation.
Question 2 of 7
What is the primary purpose of the 'chair work' exercise described in the book?
  • A. To physically distance yourself from the person you are arguing with.
  • B. To eliminate negative emotions like anger and sadness before negotiating.
  • C. To embody and give voice to the different, sometimes contradictory, emotions you are experiencing.
  • D. To practice your negotiation alternatives by sitting in different positions of power.
Question 3 of 7
How does the book define 'metacognition' in the context of conflict resilience?
  • A. The ability to step back and observe your own thoughts and emotions without being overwhelmed.
  • B. The process of convincing the other party to adopt your viewpoint using logical arguments.
  • C. The absence of any emotional responses during a high-stakes negotiation.
  • D. The neuroscientific process where the brain's 100 billion neurons detect impending harm.
Question 4 of 7
According to the book, which of the following is NOT one of the automatic 'Five F' responses triggered by the sympathetic nervous system?
  • A. Fester
  • B. Fawn
  • C. Fixate
  • D. Freeze
Question 5 of 7
What simple act does the book suggest to interrupt an automatic stress reaction and activate the calming parasympathetic nervous system?
  • A. Walking away from the negotiation table immediately to establish dominance.
  • B. Pausing to notice and name the emotions you are feeling without judgment.
  • C. Quickly offering a compromise to end the conflict as fast as possible.
  • D. Telling the other person exactly what they did wrong to take control of the conversation.
Question 6 of 7
When 'setting the table' for a difficult conversation, what is recommended as a core principle?
  • A. Jumping straight into the negotiation to get the discomfort over with quickly.
  • B. Choosing a time when both parties have the capacity and energy to focus, rather than at the end of a tiring day.
  • C. Ensuring you have a rigid list of demands prepared to present immediately.
  • D. Ignoring the relationship's history to focus entirely on the present issue.
Question 7 of 7
What is the benefit of understanding your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement)?
  • A. It provides a guaranteed way to force the other party to agree to your terms.
  • B. It gives you the clarity and confidence of knowing what you will do if an agreement cannot be reached.
  • C. It offers a method to completely avoid the conflict by submitting to the other person's demands.
  • D. It allows you to permanently suppress your emotional responses during a negotiation.

Conflict Resilience — Full Chapter Overview

Conflict Resilience Summary & Overview

Conflict Resilience (2025) blends deep expertise in conflict negotiation with neuroscientific insight to explore why conflict is so deeply rooted in both human biology and modern society. Drawing on this understanding, it presents a proven framework for engaging with conflict in a more constructive and productive way. 

Who Should Listen to Conflict Resilience?

  • Anyone feeling stuck in ongoing disagreements with family, friends, or neighbors and looking for a way forward
  • Conflict avoiders who want to build the confidence and skills to engage in difficult conversations
  • Those seeking practical tools to resolve deep, entrenched differences at home, at work, or in their community

About the Author: Robert Bordone, Joel Salinas

Robert Bordone is currently a senior fellow at Harvard Law School, and served for more than two decades as the Thaddeus R. Beal Clinical Professor of Law, as well as the director and founder of the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program. He is also Founder and Principal of The Cambridge Negotiation Institute, and has coauthored two previous books, Designing Systems and Processes for Managing Disputes and The Handbook of Dispute Resolution.

Joel Salinas is a behavioral neurologist, researcher, speaker, and author with a focus on how social relationships and environmental factors shape brain health and overall well-being. He is a clinical professor of neurology and formerly held the position of Lulu P. and David J. Levidow Assistant Professor of Neurology at NYU. Salinas has published more than forty peer-reviewed articles in his field and is the author of the bestselling book Mirror Touch, which explores empathy and its role in complex human interactions.

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