The Ethical Slut audiobook cover - A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

The Ethical Slut

A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships, and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love

Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

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Communication SkillsSex & RelationshipsPersonal DevelopmentSociety & Culture

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The Ethical Slut
Redefining Slut+
Unlearning Myths & Adopting Principles+
Essential Slut Skills+
Navigating Relationship Challenges+
Committing to Pleasure+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8
How do the authors redefine the term 'slut' in the context of the book?
  • A. As an approving and celebratory term for someone who embraces abundant sex, relationships, and intimacy outside typical monogamy.
  • B. As a clinical term for individuals who struggle with commitment in long-term romantic partnerships.
  • C. As a warning label for people who refuse to practice safer sex or establish emotional boundaries.
  • D. As a strictly historical term used to describe early pioneers of the free love movement.
Question 2 of 8
According to the authors, how should individuals view love and sex in terms of resource allocation?
  • A. Love and sex are finite resources that must be carefully divided among partners to avoid jealousy.
  • B. Giving love and sex to multiple people multiplies these resources rather than dividing them.
  • C. Sexual energy should be conserved primarily for one's primary partner to maintain deep intimacy.
  • D. Emotional energy is abundant, but physical sexual energy is finite and requires strict scheduling.
Question 3 of 8
What is the authors' advice regarding emotional boundaries and sharing feelings with partners?
  • A. You should expect your partners to solve your emotional anxieties since you are in an intimate relationship.
  • B. You should completely hide feelings of jealousy to avoid ruining the nonmonogamous dynamic.
  • C. It is healthy to talk through feelings, but you should not 'dump' them with the expectation that partners will resolve your issues.
  • D. Emotional boundaries should only be established with secondary partners, while primary partners share all emotional burdens.
Question 4 of 8
Which of the following is a recommended strategy for managing jealousy when it arises?
  • A. Immediately confront the partner who caused the jealousy and demand they change their behavior.
  • B. Talk through your feelings with a trusted friend without assigning responsibility for those feelings to anyone else.
  • C. Suppress the jealous feelings and distract yourself by immediately seeking out a new sexual partner.
  • D. End the nonmonogamous arrangement temporarily until the jealous feelings completely disappear.
Question 5 of 8
How do the authors view asymmetrical or 'lopsided' agreements between partners?
  • A. They are inherently toxic and usually indicate that one partner is being manipulated.
  • B. They are temporary mistakes that should be corrected until both partners have exact parity in their outside relationships.
  • C. They are perfectly acceptable because agreements exist to protect everyone's emotional well-being, not to create strict parity.
  • D. They are only recommended for couples who are just beginning to open up their relationship.
Question 6 of 8
When attempting to open up an existing monogamous relationship, what approach do the authors suggest?
  • A. Dive right into attending sex parties to quickly break the ice and normalize the experience.
  • B. Take tiny steps, such as going to a club together or doing a 'Yes, No, Maybe' exercise to categorize activities.
  • C. Create an online dating profile for your partner without telling them to encourage spontaneity.
  • D. Immediately draft a permanent set of rules that cannot be changed once the relationship is open.
Question 7 of 8
If you want to join a group that is already playing at a sex party, what is the proper etiquette according to the text?
  • A. Confidently approach the group and physically insert yourself into the dynamic to show enthusiasm.
  • B. Verbally interrupt the group to ask each person individually for their consent.
  • C. Make discreet eye contact and wait to see if someone in the group beckons you to join.
  • D. Wait until the group is completely finished, then ask if they would like to start over with you.
Question 8 of 8
Based on the findings of sexologists Masters and Johnson, what do the authors note about masturbation?
  • A. It is primarily a substitute used when a person cannot find a willing sexual partner.
  • B. It can decrease a person's ability to communicate their needs to a partner during partnered sex.
  • C. Sexually successful individuals use it frequently as an opportunity to learn their own likes and dislikes.
  • D. It should be phased out once a person establishes multiple fulfilling nonmonogamous relationships.

The Ethical Slut — Full Chapter Overview

The Ethical Slut Summary & Overview

The Ethical Slut (1997) has long been the trusted handbook for anyone exploring sex, romance, and intimacy outside the constraints of monogamy. An updated 2017 edition combines time-tested strategies for navigating polyamory with advice on how to embrace an even greater diversity of orientations and relationship configurations.

Who Should Listen to The Ethical Slut?

  • Pleasure-seekers who’d like to explore a greater variety of sexual partners
  • Seasoned polyamorists who want to make multiple partnerships really work
  • Anyone who lives – or would like to live – outside the strictures of conventional monogamy

About the Author: Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

Janet W. Hardy is a sex educator, the author of more than ten books, and the founder of Greenery Press – a publisher that focused on sexually adventurous literature. 

Dossie Easton is a marriage and family therapist who specializes in alternative relationships and sexualities. She’s also the author of four other books.

Both Hardy and Easton are happily polyamorous.

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