What will I learn about: why the traditional monogamous relationship isn't the only valid model, and how prioritizing mutual happiness and trust is the true key to a successful partnership?

Discover why the traditional monogamous relationship isn't the only valid model, and how prioritizing mutual happiness and trust is the true key to a successful partnership.

What will I learn about: Learn how polyamorous partnerships and 'The Lifestyle' use strict boundaries and clear communication to foster spiritual connection and shame-free sexual adventures?

Learn how polyamorous partnerships and 'The Lifestyle' use strict boundaries and clear communication to foster spiritual connection and shame-free sexual adventures.

What will I learn about: the ability to overcome natural jealousy in open relationships by learning to separate the deep intimacy of love from general feelings of sexual desire?

Master the ability to overcome natural jealousy in open relationships by learning to separate the deep intimacy of love from general feelings of sexual desire.

What will I learn about: the true nature of sex addiction as a destructive cycle of preoccupation and shame, rather than just a healthy desire for multiple partners?

Understand the true nature of sex addiction as a destructive cycle of preoccupation and shame, rather than just a healthy desire for multiple partners.

What will I learn about: how your childhood traumas and parental relationships unconsciously shape your adult attachment styles, often acting as the hidden root of love or sex addiction?

Find out how your childhood traumas and parental relationships unconsciously shape your adult attachment styles, often acting as the hidden root of love or sex addiction.

The Truth

An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships

Neil Strauss

★ 3.6 / 5(137 ratings)

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Categories:

Sex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered if lifelong monogamy is a natural human state, or simply a societal expectation that sets us up for failure?
💡What if the secret to fixing your relationship isn't about changing your partner, but uncovering how your childhood shaped your adult intimacy?
💡Are you curious about whether it’s possible to have both complete sexual freedom and a deep, committed connection at the same time?

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Key Takeaways from The Truth

✓Discover why the traditional monogamous relationship isn't the only valid model, and how prioritizing mutual happiness and trust is the true key to a successful partnership.
✓Learn how polyamorous partnerships and 'The Lifestyle' use strict boundaries and clear communication to foster spiritual connection and shame-free sexual adventures.
✓Master the ability to overcome natural jealousy in open relationships by learning to separate the deep intimacy of love from general feelings of sexual desire.
✓Understand the true nature of sex addiction as a destructive cycle of preoccupation and shame, rather than just a healthy desire for multiple partners.
✓Find out how your childhood traumas and parental relationships unconsciously shape your adult attachment styles, often acting as the hidden root of love or sex addiction.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from The Truth

Mind Map

The Truth

Redefining Relationships+

Alternative Lifestyles+

Understanding Addiction+

Family Roots & Trauma+

Healing & Solutions+

Brain Mechanics+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 10

What does the book argue is the truth about a 'model relationship'?

A. It requires strict monogamy and unwavering loyalty to be successful.
B. It is achievable only after extensive couples therapy and self-reflection.
C. There is no such thing; the only thing that matters is what makes the partners involved happy.
D. It is defined by the equal division of emotional labor and household responsibilities.

Question 2 of 10

Why do many people in the swinging community prefer to call their practice 'The Lifestyle'?

A. It emphasizes the spiritual and emotional aspects of polyamory over the physical ones.
B. It helps distance them from the seedy reputation historically associated with the term 'swinging.'
C. It allows them to avoid the strict rules and boundaries of traditional polyamory.
D. It was a term coined by New Age writer Morning Glory Zell-Ravenheart to promote monogamy.

Question 3 of 10

In fixed polyamorous relationships, what role does the 'fulcrum' typically play?

A. They act as a 'benevolent dictator' who controls decision-making because they have a relationship with every other person.
B. They are the primary financial provider who establishes the rules and boundaries for the group.
C. They are the newest member of the relationship who brings fresh energy and intensity to the dynamic.
D. They act as an independent mediator who does not engage sexually with any of the members.

Question 4 of 10

According to the text, what is a key strategy for overcoming natural jealousy in polyamorous relationships?

A. Ignoring your partner's other relationships entirely to avoid triggering insecurities.
B. Thinking of your relationships in terms of what you can give to the group, rather than just what you get.
C. Establishing a strict 'don't ask, don't tell' policy regarding outside sexual encounters.
D. Ensuring you always have an equal or greater number of partners than your primary partner.

Question 5 of 10

How does the book define a true sex addict?

A. Someone who watches pornography daily and engages in constant masturbation.
B. Someone who uses sex to intentionally harm their own body, similar to a drug addiction.
C. Someone who prioritizes the opportunity to have sex over all else and cannot control their behavior.
D. Someone who is ethically non-monogamous but consistently fails to communicate boundaries.

Question 6 of 10

What adult attachment style is typically developed by children raised by overbearing parents?

A. Love addicted, because they crave the constant attention they received as children.
B. Anxiously attached, because they fear sudden abandonment by their partners.
C. Securely attached, because they learned to establish firm boundaries early on.
D. Love avoidant, because they mistrust deep connections and feel weighed down by others.

Question 7 of 10

According to the text, what is a common characteristic of 'love addicts'?

A. They are highly likely to become sex addicts later in life.
B. They generally experienced neglect or emotional distance from parents during childhood.
C. They actively avoid intense emotional connections to protect themselves.
D. They tend to have a weak prefrontal cortex requiring medication and a strict diet.

Question 8 of 10

Besides psychological therapy, what physical intervention does the book suggest might help treat severe sex addiction?

A. Improving frontal lobe function through specific diets and herbal medication.
B. Undergoing hormone replacement therapy to lower testosterone levels.
C. Using physical restraints during periods of unusually high sexual arousal.
D. Regular fasting to decrease overall dopamine production in the brain.

Question 9 of 10

What is the primary purpose of the 'emptying out' phase in building a healthy relationship with yourself?

A. To purge all physical possessions that remind you of past toxic relationships.
B. To take space from relationships and sexual partners to understand that you, not your relationships, need fixing.
C. To vent all your frustrations and past traumas to a licensed therapist in a single session.
D. To completely abandon all emotional attachments and adopt a stoic, emotionless mindset.

Question 10 of 10

According to the actionable advice section, how can couples keep the romance part of their brain active?

A. By occasionally bringing a third partner into the relationship to introduce novelty.
B. By taking intentional, prolonged breaks from each other to build longing and desire.
C. By doing things together and having sex regularly.
D. By focusing exclusively on the spiritual aspects of their connection rather than the physical.

The Truth — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2Polyamory – loving multiple partners – can be spiritual or experienced through swinging.
3Polyamorous relationships may be structured or completely open.
4Making sex your top priority may indicate you’re a sex addict.
5Problems with sex and relationships often stem from family dynamics.
6Love avoidance and sex addiction have practical, reachable solutions.
7Creating a strong relationship with yourself is crucial to healing from past trauma.

The Truth Summary & Overview

The Truth (2015) takes a close look at relationships, sex and trust, unpacking our assumptions about sex and arguing that monogamy may not be right for everyone.

Who Should Listen to The Truth?

Couples
People seeking a partner
Anyone who has questioned monogamy

About the Author: Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss is a journalist who writes primarily for The New York Times and Rolling Stone. Especially well known for his undercover journalistic investigations, he has performed with musicians like Marilyn Manson, hosted his own TV show and written several books.

The Truth

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to The Truth — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from The Truth

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

The Truth — Full Chapter Overview

The Truth Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to The Truth?

About the Author: Neil Strauss

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