The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory audiobook cover - Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory

Everything You Need to Know About Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and Alternative Love

Dedeker Winston

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Categories:
Sex & RelationshipsSociety & CulturePersonal Development

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The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory
Fundamentals of Polyamory+
Self-Mastery & Inner Work+
Essential Soft Skills+
Managing Jealousy+
Relationship Design+
Navigating Society+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
According to the book, what are the three key principles that polyamory is based on?
  • A. Clear consent, communication, and emotional transparency
  • B. Shared finances, cohabitation, and equal time management
  • C. Strict rules, veto power, and emotional exclusivity
  • D. Casual dating, sexual novelty, and financial independence
Question 2 of 7
How does the author distinguish between 'chewers' and 'spewers' in the context of communication?
  • A. Chewers hold grudges for a long time, while spewers forgive quickly.
  • B. Chewers prefer to silently mull over their emotions before speaking, while spewers express their feelings out loud to process them.
  • C. Chewers consume self-help content constantly, while spewers prefer to give unsolicited advice to their partners.
  • D. Chewers avoid difficult conversations entirely, while spewers aggressively confront their partners.
Question 3 of 7
The book suggests that the 'scarcity mindset'—the secret belief that love and affection are a limited resource—arises from which of the following?
  • A. Evolutionary biology
  • B. Religious conditioning
  • C. Capitalist culture
  • D. Childhood trauma
Question 4 of 7
What does the author recommend as the primary method for handling feelings of jealousy when they first arise?
  • A. Immediately demanding that your partner cut ties with their new love interest.
  • B. Creating stricter rules to prevent the triggering situation from happening again.
  • C. Pretending the jealousy doesn't exist so it doesn't ruin the relationship.
  • D. Self-soothing, sitting with the physical sensations without judgment, and temporarily distracting yourself.
Question 5 of 7
Why does the author caution against using strict rules, such as having 'veto power' over a partner's new bonds?
  • A. They require too much legal documentation to be enforceable.
  • B. They are often based in fear and jealousy, limiting autonomy and strangling spontaneity.
  • C. They make it too difficult to schedule quality time among multiple partners.
  • D. They force partners to spend too much time processing emotions rather than enjoying the relationship.
Question 6 of 7
In the context of polyamorous relationships, how does the book define 'boundaries' as opposed to rules or agreements?
  • A. Guidelines that dictate exactly how much time a partner can spend with someone else.
  • B. Flexible compromises negotiated to balance the collective needs of all partners.
  • C. Clarifications of behaviors you simply will not tolerate, such as dishonesty or compromising sexual health.
  • D. A set of strict regulations designed to prevent any feelings of jealousy from occurring.
Question 7 of 7
According to the text, which of the following is a severe potential risk of coming out as polyamorous?
  • A. Being forced to legally register your relationship status with the state.
  • B. Losing custody of children due to prudish legal views on non-monogamous relationship styles.
  • C. Being required by employers to undergo psychological evaluations.
  • D. Having to financially support your partner's other romantic interests.

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory — Full Chapter Overview

The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory Summary & Overview

The Smart Girl’s Guide to Polyamory (2017) offers practical relationship advice for women seeking to break free from jealousy, possessiveness, and competition through discovering polyamory. Incorporating real-world experiences and practical exercises, it covers exploring your relationship style, conquering jealousy, and “coming out” as polyamorous – helping you craft unique connections tailored to your needs.

Who Should Listen to The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory?

  • People interested in exploring non-monogamy and alternative relationships
  • Those curious about opening up a current monogamous relationship
  • Anyone looking to gain confidence in communication skills

About the Author: Dedeker Winston

Dedeker Winston is a relationship coach, writer, podcast host, and leading advocate for polyamory and non-traditional relationships. She is the host of the popular Multiamory podcast, which provides advice on open relationships. Her book Multiamory: Essential Tools for Modern Relationships was published in 2023. 

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