Sexual Intelligence audiobook cover - What We Really Want from Sex - and How to Get It
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Sexual Intelligence

What We Really Want from Sex - and How to Get It

Marty Klein

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Categories:
PsychologyPersonal DevelopmentSex & Relationships

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Key Takeaways from Sexual Intelligence

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Sexual Intelligence
The Core Philosophy+
The Myth of Normal+
Essential Non-Sexual Skills+
Redefining Sex+
Owning Your Desirability+
Rethinking the Sexual Peak+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 5
According to the text, what is the primary problem with trying to achieve a 'normal' sex life?
  • A. It prevents partners from learning the newest and most effective physical techniques.
  • B. It creates anxiety and distracts from how sex actually feels and connects partners.
  • C. It usually requires expensive therapy and reading too many expert guidebooks.
  • D. It causes couples to focus too much on emotional vulnerability rather than physical pleasure.
Question 2 of 5
How does the author define the core skills needed for 'sexual intelligence'?
  • A. Knowing the most effective physical techniques to ensure your partner's pleasure.
  • B. Maintaining a youthful appearance and high physical stamina over time.
  • C. Having adaptability, empathy, a sense of humor, and emotional maturity.
  • D. The ability to perfectly orchestrate a romantic mood without any awkward interruptions.
Question 3 of 5
What negative effect does viewing penis-in-vagina intercourse as the only 'real' sex have?
  • A. It turns sex into a rigid checklist and makes other forms of intimacy feel like second-rate warm-ups.
  • B. It causes couples to spend too much time on foreplay instead of focusing on the main event.
  • C. It forces partners to constantly communicate their boundaries, ruining the spontaneity of the moment.
  • D. It leads to an over-reliance on toys and external tools to achieve physical satisfaction.
Question 4 of 5
How does the author suggest individuals handle societal or media-driven definitions of being 'sexy'?
  • A. By working hard to adapt their bodies and behaviors to match current cultural trends.
  • B. By ignoring the concept of 'sexy' altogether and focusing strictly on emotional bonding.
  • C. By rewriting the rules of what is considered sexy so that it includes their own reality and personality.
  • D. By relying entirely on their partner to tell them whether or not they are desirable.
Question 5 of 5
How does the book suggest we should rethink the concept of a 'sexual peak'?
  • A. It should be measured by the frequency of sexual encounters rather than physical intensity.
  • B. It usually occurs in our early twenties when the body has the most raw physical energy.
  • C. It is a myth, as sexual satisfaction inevitably declines as we age and lose physical stamina.
  • D. It can be defined as the stage of life when sex feels the most fulfilling, emotionally rich, and free from pressure.

Sexual Intelligence — Full Chapter Overview

Sexual Intelligence Summary & Overview

Sexual Intelligence (2013) explores how beliefs, emotional awareness, and self-acceptance shape sexual satisfaction far more than physical appearance or technical skill. It challenges the idea that sex should follow a scripted formula or aim for performance-based success. Drawing on decades of real-life experience, it encourages us to embrace our own definitions of pleasure and build intimacy through authenticity, curiosity, and connection.

Who Should Listen to Sexual Intelligence?

  • Anyone seeking a healthier, less anxious sex life
  • Couples wanting deeper emotional and sexual connection
  • Individuals tired of chasing sexual “normalcy” or perfection

About the Author: Marty Klein

Marty Klein is a sex therapist, author, and educator with over 40 years of experience as a licensed marriage, family, and sex therapist. He has written seven books on sexuality that have been translated into eleven language – including America’s War on Sex and His Porn, Her Pain.

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