Designer Relationships audiobook cover - Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

Designer Relationships

Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

Mark A. Michaels & Patricia Johnson

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Categories:
Sex & RelationshipsCommunication SkillsPersonal Development

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Designer Relationships
Core Philosophy+
Relationship Structures+
Debunking Misconceptions+
Essential Intimacy Skills+
Opening a Partnership+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7
According to the concept of 'designer relationships,' what is the primary distinction between these relationships and traditional monogamy?
  • A. Designer relationships require participants to be sexually involved with multiple people.
  • B. Designer relationships are built on conscious choice and explicit mutual agreements rather than unexamined assumptions.
  • C. Designer relationships are exclusively focused on emotional bonds without sexual involvement.
  • D. Designer relationships prioritize individual freedom over emotional intimacy and long-term commitment.
Question 2 of 7
How does the text define a 'monogamish' relationship?
  • A. A relationship where partners are emotionally exclusive but maintain multiple independent romantic relationships.
  • B. A blend of swinging and polyamory where couples engage in recreational sex and form emotional connections.
  • C. A primarily monogamous couple that occasionally allows sexual encounters with others under specific circumstances.
  • D. An arrangement where one partner engages in outside relationships with the other's reluctant agreement.
Question 3 of 7
Which of the following is true regarding the misconception that people in consensually nonmonogamous relationships have a higher risk of contracting STDs?
  • A. They actually have a lower risk because they engage in fewer sexual encounters overall.
  • B. The risk is identical to those in strictly monogamous relationships due to modern healthcare.
  • C. They are often more vigilant about safe sex practices, transparency, and frequent testing compared to those having clandestine affairs.
  • D. The risk is significantly higher, but participants accept it as a necessary trade-off for relational freedom.
Question 4 of 7
Why does the book suggest that the myth 'designer relationships are male-dominated' is inaccurate?
  • A. Because modern polyamory emphasizes equality, personal autonomy, and mutual respect, unlike historical polygyny.
  • B. Because statistics show that women initiate open relationships significantly more often than men.
  • C. Because designer relationships strictly require a matriarchal structure to function properly.
  • D. Because men are naturally less inclined to seek multiple emotional connections than women.
Question 5 of 7
In the context of nonmonogamous relationships, what does the term 'compersion' refer to?
  • A. The practice of establishing strict rules to prevent jealousy between partners.
  • B. The feeling of joy experienced when seeing your partner happy in a relationship with someone else.
  • C. The process of co-creating relationship boundaries through nonverbal communication.
  • D. The deliberate separation of emotional intimacy from sexual exploration.
Question 6 of 7
What strategy does the book recommend for couples who are just beginning to thoughtfully open their partnership?
  • A. Immediately date other people independently to quickly overcome feelings of jealousy.
  • B. Keep outside sexual encounters a secret initially to protect the primary partner's feelings.
  • C. Start by exploring new sexual territories and sharing fantasies exclusively with the primary partner first.
  • D. Avoid discussing boundaries until a specific issue arises to keep the experience organic.
Question 7 of 7
How does the text suggest couples should view and handle jealousy when opening their relationship?
  • A. As a clear indicator that the open relationship structure is failing and should be abandoned.
  • B. As a natural emotion and an opportunity for personal and relational growth.
  • C. As an unacceptable feeling that must be suppressed to maintain the primary bond.
  • D. As a sign that the couple needs to immediately establish stricter rules and boundaries.

Designer Relationships — Full Chapter Overview

Designer Relationships Summary & Overview

Designer Relationships (2015) explores the concept of flexible, customized partnerships that evolve beyond traditional monogamy, allowing individuals to craft relationships based on their unique needs and desires. It argues that this approach empowers people to create diverse, mutually agreed-upon relationship structures, ranging from emotional bonds without sexual involvement to various forms of nonmonogamy and kink exploration. 

Who Should Listen to Designer Relationships?

  • Monogamous couples curious about opening their relationship
  • Polyamorous people looking for authentic advice on nurturing their relationships
  • Anyone interested in sex-positive alternatives to conventional relationship models

About the Author: Mark A. Michaels & Patricia Johnson

Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson are internationally recognized relationship experts and award-winning authors of several books on sexuality, tantra, and alternative relationship styles. In addition to their literary contributions, they co-founded Pleasure Salon in New York City to support the sex-positive community, and have spent over two decades studying and promoting flexible approaches to relationships, including polyamory.

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