What will I learn about: why building a Performance Feedback Culture is a top driver of measurable improvement that can actually double a company's financial gains?

Discover why building a Performance Feedback Culture is a top driver of measurable improvement that can actually double a company's financial gains.

What will I learn about: overcome the brain's evolutionary fear response to feedback by using the 4-7-8 breathing technique to stay calm and focused?

Learn how to overcome the brain's evolutionary fear response to feedback by using the 4-7-8 breathing technique to stay calm and focused.

What will I learn about: the true definition of effective feedback, recognizing that it must be specific, clear, and delivered exclusively to help people grow?

Understand the true definition of effective feedback, recognizing that it must be specific, clear, and delivered exclusively to help people grow.

What will I learn about: why waiting for a performance review isn't enough and how actively seeking out feedback is crucial for your professional development?

Find out why waiting for a performance review isn't enough and how actively seeking out feedback is crucial for your professional development.

What will I learn about: how to adopt a growth mindset to transform your attitude toward critiques, allowing you to view your talents as a starting point rather than fixed traits?

Master how to adopt a growth mindset to transform your attitude toward critiques, allowing you to view your talents as a starting point rather than fixed traits.

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

Why We Fear It, How to Fix It

M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Dowling Grealish

★ 4.3 / 5(151 ratings)

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Categories:

Communication Skills

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why your brain treats a feedback session like a physical threat—and how you can override that instinct?
💡What if you could transform feedback from a dreaded 'dirty word' into a powerful engine for growth and psychological safety?
💡Are you curious about the secret to asking for feedback in a way that yields truly helpful insights instead of vague platitudes?

Listen to Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) — Free Audiobook

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Key Takeaways from Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

✓Discover why building a Performance Feedback Culture is a top driver of measurable improvement that can actually double a company's financial gains.
✓Learn how to overcome the brain's evolutionary fear response to feedback by using the 4-7-8 breathing technique to stay calm and focused.
✓Understand the true definition of effective feedback, recognizing that it must be specific, clear, and delivered exclusively to help people grow.
✓Find out why waiting for a performance review isn't enough and how actively seeking out feedback is crucial for your professional development.
✓Master how to adopt a growth mindset to transform your attitude toward critiques, allowing you to view your talents as a starting point rather than fixed traits.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

Mind Map

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

The Problem with Feedback+

The Value of Feedback+

Redefining Feedback+

Foundational Culture+

Seeking Feedback+

Receiving Feedback+

Giving Feedback+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 7

Why has feedback developed a negative reputation in many workplaces?

A. It is usually delivered too frequently, overwhelming employees.
B. Managers often hoard it for annual reviews or use it to punish staff.
C. Employees fundamentally do not want feedback, even if it is positive.
D. It focuses too much on peer-to-peer interactions rather than top-down reviews.

Question 2 of 7

What causes the physical anxiety response, such as sweating palms and a racing heart, when someone is offered feedback?

A. The prefrontal cortex anticipates complex problem-solving tasks.
B. The brain releases excess dopamine in anticipation of criticism.
C. The amygdala triggers an evolutionary 'fight, flight or freeze' fear response.
D. The lack of clear information causes the brain's logical centers to shut down.

Question 3 of 7

How does someone with a 'growth mindset' handle feedback compared to someone with a 'fixed mindset'?

A. They ignore negative feedback because they believe their talents are already fully developed.
B. They actively seek feedback and view criticism as a valuable learning experience.
C. They only accept feedback from trusted managers rather than their peers.
D. They rely strictly on positive reinforcement to build their mental resilience.

Question 4 of 7

What does the practice of 'noticing' entail in the context of building a feedback culture?

A. Observing things or people as they are, using facts without judgment or emotion.
B. Keeping a mental tally of an employee's mistakes to discuss at the annual review.
C. Pointing out a colleague's emotional state before delivering difficult news.
D. Ensuring you have a 5:1 ratio of noticing negative behaviors versus positive ones.

Question 5 of 7

What is a recommended best practice when asking for feedback to ensure it is useful?

A. Ask broad, open-ended questions like 'How am I doing?' to give the provider flexibility.
B. Request feedback primarily from organizational leaders rather than your immediate peers.
C. Wait until after an annual performance review to ask follow-up questions.
D. Make the request highly specific, such as asking someone to watch your body language during a presentation.

Question 6 of 7

How should you mentally frame a feedback giver's intentions to avoid becoming emotionally defensive?

A. Assume they are testing your mental resilience and growth mindset.
B. Assume they have positive intent and are trying to help, not harm you.
C. Assume they are projecting their own biases and insecurities onto your work.
D. Assume they are strictly following company mandates for performance management.

Question 7 of 7

According to the authors, what is the most effective frequency and format for giving feedback?

A. Comprehensive, formal reviews conducted once a quarter.
B. Detailed, multi-point critiques delivered immediately after every major project.
C. Frequent, informal, bite-sized insights provided at least every two weeks.
D. Daily feedback sessions focusing extensively on areas of improvement.

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — Feedback’s reputation has suffered, but it remains a vital source of growth and improvement.
32 — Feedback can feel threatening and often sparks anxiety and stress.
43 — Growth requires clear, specific feedback and a growth mindset.
54 — Connection, trust, and awareness are the foundations of a positive feedback culture.
65 — Feedback seekers should be specific and turn to multiple sources.
76 — Ask the right questions and manage your emotions to get the most from feedback.
87 — Self-awareness and frequent, bite-sized information make feedback truly valuable.
98 — Final summary

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) Summary & Overview

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) (2019) is a smart and practical guide to something many of us fear: seeking, giving and receiving feedback. It explains how we can avoid the negative psychological reactions many of us have to feedback, and offers practical tips for how we can all build a positive and helpful feedback culture.

Who Should Listen to Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)?

Anyone who has felt uncomfortable giving or receiving feedback
Leaders who’d like to help their people grow and create a safe and strong feedback culture
People committed to improvement in the workplace

About the Author: M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Dowling Grealish

Tamra Chandler is the CEO and Founder of PeopleFirm, one of America’s best management consultancies of 2018, according to Forbes magazine. PeopleFirm works with clients including, T-Mobile, Nordstrom, Nike and the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to improve and rethink internal culture, leadership and performance management. Laura Dowling Grealish is a senior consultant at the firm.

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) — Full Chapter Overview

Feedback (and Other Dirty Words) Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to Feedback (and Other Dirty Words)?

About the Author: M. Tamra Chandler and Laura Dowling Grealish

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