What will I learn about: replace destructive self-pity with gratitude by actively focusing on the positives and keeping a daily gratitude journal?

Learn how to replace destructive self-pity with gratitude by actively focusing on the positives and keeping a daily gratitude journal.

What will I learn about: your emotions by refusing to give others power over your feelings and learning to set respectful, healthy boundaries?

Master your emotions by refusing to give others power over your feelings and learning to set respectful, healthy boundaries.

What will I learn about: how to successfully embrace change by avoiding the all-or-nothing trap and breaking large ambitions into small, manageable daily actions?

Discover how to successfully embrace change by avoiding the all-or-nothing trap and breaking large ambitions into small, manageable daily actions.

What will I learn about: why mentally strong people refuse to get distracted by circumstances they cannot control, allowing them to focus their energy effectively?

Understand why mentally strong people refuse to get distracted by circumstances they cannot control, allowing them to focus their energy effectively.

What will I learn about: how to build a personal toolbox for life's hardships by learning to take calculated risks, collaborate instead of compete, and earn rather than deserve?

Find out how to build a personal toolbox for life's hardships by learning to take calculated risks, collaborate instead of compete, and earn rather than deserve.

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13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Take Back Your Power, Embrace Change, Face Your Fears and Train Your Brain for Happiness and Success

Amy Morin

★ 4.6 / 5(5412 ratings)

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Categories:

Personal Development Motivation & Inspiration

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why some people seem to bounce back from failure instantly while others stay stuck for years?
💡What if you could stop letting other people’s success make you feel like you’re falling behind?
💡Are you curious about the subtle, everyday habits that are secretly draining your mental strength without you even realizing it?

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Key Takeaways from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

✓Learn how to replace destructive self-pity with gratitude by actively focusing on the positives and keeping a daily gratitude journal.
✓Master your emotions by refusing to give others power over your feelings and learning to set respectful, healthy boundaries.
✓Discover how to successfully embrace change by avoiding the all-or-nothing trap and breaking large ambitions into small, manageable daily actions.
✓Understand why mentally strong people refuse to get distracted by circumstances they cannot control, allowing them to focus their energy effectively.
✓Find out how to build a personal toolbox for life's hardships by learning to take calculated risks, collaborate instead of compete, and earn rather than deserve.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Mind Map

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do

Core Principle+

1. Self-Pity+

2. Giving Away Power+

3. Shying Away from Change+

4. Focusing on Uncontrollables+

5. People-Pleasing+

6. Fearing Calculated Risks+

7. Dwelling on the Past+

8. Repeating Mistakes+

9. Resenting Others' Success+

10. Giving Up After Failure+

11. Fearing Alone Time+

12. Entitlement Mentality+

13. Expecting Immediate Results+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 14

What personal circumstance prompted Amy Morin to write the original list of 13 things mentally strong people don't do?

A. She was struggling with the loss of loved ones and a family illness.
B. She was frustrated by the lack of progress her psychotherapy clients were making.
C. She wanted to create a viral blog post to launch her writing career.
D. She was recovering from a severe physical injury that left her bedridden.

Question 2 of 14

According to the book, what is the most effective antidote to self-pity?

A. Venting to a trusted friend
B. Gratitude
C. Ignoring negative emotions
D. Comparing yourself to those less fortunate

Question 3 of 14

How does a person typically give away their mental power to others?

A. By delegating too many tasks at work
B. By allowing other people to dictate their emotions and behavior
C. By refusing to forgive themselves for past mistakes
D. By avoiding leadership roles in social situations

Question 4 of 14

What is the single biggest pitfall people face when trying to embrace change, as illustrated by Richard's weight loss attempt?

A. Relying too heavily on advice from medical professionals
B. Failing to tell their friends and family about their goals
C. Overwhelming themselves with too much radical change at once
D. Focusing on emotional changes rather than behavioral ones

Question 5 of 14

When faced with a situation outside of their control, what do mentally strong people focus their energy on?

A. Changing the minds of the people involved
B. Finding a legal or formal way to gain leverage
C. Maximizing what is actually within their sphere of influence
D. Distracting themselves until the situation resolves itself

Question 6 of 14

What practical strategy did the author suggest to help chronic people-pleasers stop automatically saying 'yes'?

A. Tell people outright that their requests are unreasonable
B. Use a script to buy time, such as asking to check their calendar first
C. Agree to the favor but delegate it to someone else
D. Ignore the request for 24 hours before responding

Question 7 of 14

How do mentally strong people approach risk-taking differently than others?

A. They adopt an 'all-or-nothing' mindset to force themselves to succeed.
B. They take calculated risks by evaluating potential outcomes and adjusting the danger.
C. They rely entirely on their intuition and gut feelings rather than data.
D. They only take risks when success is 100% guaranteed.

Question 8 of 14

The book identifies three intertwined levels of mental strength. What are they?

A. Thoughts, behavior, and emotions
B. Past, present, and future
C. Ambition, discipline, and execution
D. Self-awareness, social awareness, and relationship management

Question 9 of 14

What is recommended as a way to practice the self-discipline needed to avoid repeating mistakes?

A. Punish yourself mildly every time you repeat a bad habit
B. Make it physically or logistically harder to make the mistake
C. Avoid situations where you have failed in the past entirely
D. Focus exclusively on your natural talents instead of your weaknesses

Question 10 of 14

Feeling resentful of other people's success is often a sign of what underlying issue?

A. A lack of natural talent in your chosen field
B. Being surrounded by overly competitive people
C. Personal insecurities and a lack of clarity about what you actually want
D. An inability to understand social media algorithms

Question 11 of 14

Which of the following is a healthier alternative to the belief that natural talent dictates success?

A. Believing that a high IQ is the only true predictor of achievement
B. Understanding that regular practice and perseverance often trump natural talent
C. Accepting that success is entirely based on luck and timing
D. Assuming that failure means you are pursuing the wrong goals

Question 12 of 14

Why is making time for solitude and silence important for mental strength?

A. It helps you figure out how to outsmart your competitors.
B. It allows you to catch up on unfinished work tasks without interruption.
C. It correlates with better stress management and helps recharge your batteries.
D. It prevents you from being influenced by negative peer pressure.

Question 13 of 14

What attitude is the best antidote to an 'entitlement mentality'?

A. Humility and the willingness to accept critical feedback
B. Unwavering self-confidence and assertiveness
C. Demanding that others recognize your unique contributions
D. Comparing your struggles to the struggles of others

Question 14 of 14

How should you handle the long-term nature of progress to avoid giving up prematurely?

A. Set fixed, unshakable deadlines to force yourself to work faster
B. Expect quick and painless success to keep your morale high
C. Break big goals into smaller short-term objectives and celebrate those milestones
D. Rely on instant gratification to stay motivated during difficult times

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2Mentally strong people swap self-pity for gratitude.
3Mentally strong people keep their power and forgive others.
4Mentally strong people are ready to welcome change.
5Mentally strong people don’t get sidetracked by what they can’t control.
6Trying to please everyone doesn’t work, and being willing to disappoint others can make you stronger.
7Mentally strong people aren’t afraid to take calculated risks.
8Making peace with the past builds strength, but it takes concrete steps.
9Mentally strong people avoid making the same mistakes again, and that takes self-discipline.
10Mentally strong people don’t envy others’ success; they look for ways to collaborate.
11Mentally strong people don’t give up easily, and they treat failure with self-compassion.
12Mentally strong people are comfortable with solitude and use meditation to build resilience.
13Many people have an entitlement mindset, but strong people focus on giving rather than taking.
14Mentally strong people know achievements take time and progress isn’t always immediately visible.
15Final summary

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do Summary & Overview

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do (2014) explains how to develop great mental strength by taking control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions. With useful tips, inspiring examples, and practical solutions, this book will help you overcome your fears and start living life to the fullest.

Who Should Listen to 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do?

People struggling in the face of their own failures and peers’ success
Parents who can’t calmly communicate with their children
Anyone who needs extra encouragement to live out their dreams

About the Author: Amy Morin

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, is a regular columnist for Forbes, where she writes about business and psychology. She is also the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast.