What will I learn about: why raising mentally strong children requires parents to first identify and change their own unhealthy behaviors and habits?

Discover why raising mentally strong children requires parents to first identify and change their own unhealthy behaviors and habits.

What will I learn about: prevent learned helplessness and a victim mentality by holding your children accountable and letting them face the natural consequences of their actions?

Learn how to prevent learned helplessness and a victim mentality by holding your children accountable and letting them face the natural consequences of their actions.

What will I learn about: the technique of guiding your children away from negative 'BLUE' thoughts and toward proactive 'True' thoughts that encourage taking responsibility?

Master the technique of guiding your children away from negative 'BLUE' thoughts and toward proactive 'True' thoughts that encourage taking responsibility.

What will I learn about: why parenting out of guilt or fear leads to overprotective habits, and see how tolerating short-term discomfort equips kids with essential life skills?

Understand why parenting out of guilt or fear leads to overprotective habits, and see how tolerating short-term discomfort equips kids with essential life skills.

What will I learn about: how setting strong boundaries prevents your child from developing a superiority complex, unchecked entitlement, and a diminished capacity for empathy?

Find out how setting strong boundaries prevents your child from developing a superiority complex, unchecked entitlement, and a diminished capacity for empathy.

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13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

Raising Self-Assured Children and Training Their Brains for a Life of Happiness, Meaning, and Success

Amy Morin

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Categories:

Parenting

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡What's the secret to raising kids who can truly thrive in today's fast-paced world?
💡Are you curious about the surprising ways you might be holding your child back without realizing it?
💡What if you could break free from common parenting myths and unlock your child's full potential?

Listen to 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do — Free Audiobook

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Key Takeaways from 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

✓Discover why raising mentally strong children requires parents to first identify and change their own unhealthy behaviors and habits.
✓Learn how to prevent learned helplessness and a victim mentality by holding your children accountable and letting them face the natural consequences of their actions.
✓Master the technique of guiding your children away from negative 'BLUE' thoughts and toward proactive 'True' thoughts that encourage taking responsibility.
✓Understand why parenting out of guilt or fear leads to overprotective habits, and see how tolerating short-term discomfort equips kids with essential life skills.
✓Find out how setting strong boundaries prevents your child from developing a superiority complex, unchecked entitlement, and a diminished capacity for empathy.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

Mind Map

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do

Fostering Responsibility & Resilience+

Managing Parental Guilt & Fear+

Setting Boundaries & Humility+

Handling Mistakes & Perfectionism+

Navigating Pain & Emotions+

Healthy Discipline vs. Punishment+

Aligning Actions with Values+

Actionable Coping Strategies+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 10

According to Amy Morin, what must parents do first in order to successfully raise mentally strong children?

A. Focus exclusively on the child's academic and athletic achievements.
B. Shield the child from all negative societal influences and hardships.
C. Work on their own behaviors and avoid unhealthy parenting habits.
D. Ensure the child is enrolled in multiple extracurricular activities.

Question 2 of 10

What is a key characteristic of 'BLUE thoughts' that mentally strong parents teach their children to avoid?

A. Believing that they are uniquely talented and better than everyone else.
B. Blaming others, assuming the worst, and being exaggeratedly negative.
C. Bottling up emotions and refusing to communicate with family members.
D. Bribing others to solve their problems and taking shortcuts.

Question 3 of 10

What is the primary danger of making parenting decisions guided by 'mommy guilt' or parental guilt?

A. It often leads to parents giving in to a child's demands to avoid feeling bad in the moment.
B. It causes parents to become overly strict and authoritarian.
C. It forces children to take on adult responsibilities too early in life.
D. It results in parents spending too much money on educational resources.

Question 4 of 10

How should parents praise their children to prevent them from developing a superiority complex and a sense of entitlement?

A. By praising their innate talents, such as saying 'You're the smartest kid in the class!'
B. By praising their effort, such as saying 'Your training really paid off!'
C. By only praising them when they achieve perfection or win first place.
D. By withholding praise entirely so they learn to motivate themselves.

Question 5 of 10

According to the text, what is a common long-term consequence of 'helicopter parenting' and micromanaging a child's mistakes?

A. The child develops an inflated ego and bullies other children.
B. The child becomes highly independent but emotionally distant.
C. The child excels academically but struggles with physical fitness.
D. The child fails to learn how to bounce back from mistakes and struggles transitioning to adulthood.

Question 6 of 10

Why is it harmful to completely shelter a child from emotional pain, such as the reality of a divorce?

A. It prevents them from developing a healthy sense of humor.
B. It sends the message that they are fragile and prevents them from building resilience.
C. It causes them to become overly dependent on their siblings.
D. It makes them more likely to rebel and break household rules.

Question 7 of 10

When a child is experiencing difficult emotions like sadness or hurt, what is the best approach for a parent to take?

A. Immediately distract the child with a fun activity to cheer them up.
B. Tell the child to stop crying and focus on the positive aspects of the situation.
C. Validate and support the child, allowing them to fully experience a wide range of emotions.
D. Ignore the child until they have calmed down and can speak rationally.

Question 8 of 10

What is the primary difference between healthy discipline and harsh punishment?

A. Punishment focuses on the child's mistakes, while discipline focuses on learning and improving.
B. Punishment requires a family meeting, while discipline can be done in the moment.
C. Punishment is used for older children, while discipline is reserved for toddlers.
D. Punishment involves taking away privileges, while discipline involves physical consequences.

Question 9 of 10

In the book's example of Kyle, the straight-A student who was caught cheating, what did his parents realize during therapy?

A. They had not provided enough academic support for his college-level classes.
B. They had inadvertently sent the message that academic achievement and reputation were more important than honesty.
C. They had failed to establish a clear hierarchy within the household.
D. They had been using harsh punishments instead of healthy discipline.

Question 10 of 10

What is the purpose of the 'white bear' exercise mentioned in the actionable advice?

A. To teach children how to suppress their negative emotions permanently.
B. To demonstrate that changing their behavior can help them change their thoughts.
C. To show children that animals can be used as a calming visualization technique.
D. To test a child's working memory and academic readiness.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — Mentally strong parents encourage responsibility and perseverance instead of a victim mentality.
32 — Don’t parent through avoidance; teach your kids healthy ways to handle guilt and fear.
43 — Set firm boundaries so your child doesn’t believe the world revolves around her or that she has power over you.
54 — Don’t demand perfection or step in every time your child makes a mistake.
65 — Mentally strong parents don’t shield their children from pain.
76 — Don’t stop your children from experiencing the full range of human emotions.
87 — Mentally strong parents know the difference between discipline and punishment.
98 — Mentally strong parents ensure their actions align with their values.
109 — Final summary

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do Summary & Overview

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do (2017) teaches parents how not to hold kids back from reaching their true behavioral, emotional, and academic potential. Many of today’s parenting practices don’t prepare children for adulthood – but these blinks demonstrate how to raise children to have the mental strength necessary to handle our increasingly complicated world.

Who Should Listen to 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do?

New parents who want to empower their kids from the get-go
Parents in need of some midcourse parenting advice and solutions
People who want to learn how parenting practices affect child psychology

About the Author: Amy Morin

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, licensed clinical social worker, college psychology instructor, and foster mother. She is the bestselling author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do and is a regular contributor to Forbes, Psychology Today, and Verywell.