What will I learn about: how early philosophers like Aristotle wrongly declared women incapable of true friendship, while historical figures like Phillis Wheatley forged profound intellectual bonds?

Discover how early philosophers like Aristotle wrongly declared women incapable of true friendship, while historical figures like Phillis Wheatley forged profound intellectual bonds.

What will I learn about: why Victorian society actively encouraged intense romantic crushes between young women as a harmless dress rehearsal for their future domestic devotion?

Understand why Victorian society actively encouraged intense romantic crushes between young women as a harmless dress rehearsal for their future domestic devotion.

What will I learn about: Learn how the liberatory potential of female friendship sparked a societal moral panic when women began finding emotional fulfillment and purpose outside of marriage?

Learn how the liberatory potential of female friendship sparked a societal moral panic when women began finding emotional fulfillment and purpose outside of marriage.

What will I learn about: Explore how turn-of-the-century urbanization transformed female friendships into vital survival networks, allowing single working women to share resources and build communities?

Explore how turn-of-the-century urbanization transformed female friendships into vital survival networks, allowing single working women to share resources and build communities.

What will I learn about: Uncover the historical origins of the 'bad female friend' stereotype and recognize how our peer groups continue to wield immense power in shaping our habits and behaviors?

Uncover the historical origins of the 'bad female friend' stereotype and recognize how our peer groups continue to wield immense power in shaping our habits and behaviors.

Bad Friend

How Women Revolutionized Modern Friendship

Tiffany Watt Smith

★ 4.2 / 5(5 ratings)

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Categories:

Sex & Relationships Personal Development Society & Culture

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💡Did you know that the intense, private bonds between Victorian schoolgirls were once viewed as a radical threat to the social order?
💡Have you ever wondered why mainstream culture has spent centuries trying to police, ignore, or redefine what it actually means to be a 'good' female friend?
💡Are you curious about how secret confidantes in Depression-era workplaces and feminist consciousness-raising circles actually laid the groundwork for modern social revolutions?

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Key Takeaways from Bad Friend

✓Discover how early philosophers like Aristotle wrongly declared women incapable of true friendship, while historical figures like Phillis Wheatley forged profound intellectual bonds.
✓Understand why Victorian society actively encouraged intense romantic crushes between young women as a harmless dress rehearsal for their future domestic devotion.
✓Learn how the liberatory potential of female friendship sparked a societal moral panic when women began finding emotional fulfillment and purpose outside of marriage.
✓Explore how turn-of-the-century urbanization transformed female friendships into vital survival networks, allowing single working women to share resources and build communities.
✓Uncover the historical origins of the 'bad female friend' stereotype and recognize how our peer groups continue to wield immense power in shaping our habits and behaviors.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Bad Friend

Mind Map

Bad Friend

Historical Exclusions & Defiance+

Victorian Crushes & Moral Panic+

Urbanization & The 'Bad Friend'+

Political Solidarity & Feminism+

Workplace Friendships+

The Art of Neighboring+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 6

How did early philosophers and writers like Aristotle and Michel de Montaigne view the concept of female friendship?

A. They celebrated it as the highest form of platonic love and emotional connection.
B. They believed women were inherently incapable of forming true, lasting platonic friendships.
C. They viewed it as a necessary foundation for women to become devoted wives and mothers.
D. They warned that it was a dangerous political tool that could disrupt the domestic sphere.

Question 2 of 6

Why did Victorian society generally condone passionate, romanticized 'crushes' between young women at boarding schools and colleges?

A. They were viewed as harmless 'dress rehearsals' for the devotion and passion women were expected to later show their husbands.
B. Early sexologists successfully campaigned to have these relationships recognized as healthy expressions of independence.
C. Society believed these friendships would encourage women to pursue higher education instead of settling into domestic life.
D. The relationships were kept entirely secret from the public due to strict censorship laws at elite schools.

Question 3 of 6

In the context of the turn-of-the-century urban workforce, how was the 'bad female friend' stereotype primarily depicted in the media?

A. As a lazy worker who convinced others to strike and demand higher wages from factory owners.
B. As a wayward companion who corrupted innocent women into abandoning their families or committing crimes for excitement.
C. As a wealthy socialite who patronized working-class women through superficial and false charity.
D. As a political radical who secretly recruited young women into the militant suffragette movement.

Question 4 of 6

What significant complication within the female friendships of early women's movements was highlighted by figures like Ida B. Wells and Mother Jones?

A. The friendships were often superficial and failed to result in any tangible political action.
B. Most women ultimately preferred to focus on their individual careers rather than collective feminist goals.
C. The movements were fractured by deep divides across class and race, challenging the simplistic ideal of universal sisterhood.
D. The friendships were heavily policed by male political figures who infiltrated their consciousness-raising groups.

Question 5 of 6

How did 1930s career advice for women, such as Elizabeth MacGibbon’s 'Manners in Business', contrast with the advice Dale Carnegie gave to men?

A. Women were told to aggressively network, while men were advised to remain stoic and independent to show strength.
B. Women were encouraged to form labor unions, while men were taught to negotiate their salaries individually.
C. Women were advised to befriend their superiors for promotions, while men were told to only socialize with their peers.
D. Women were warned that office friendships bred unladylike gossip, while men were actively encouraged to cultivate professional connections.

Question 6 of 6

What does modern sociological research suggest about the nature of community and friendship over time?

A. True community bonds vanished completely with the rise of 1960s industrialization and suburban mobility.
B. Community support systems have not disappeared but have evolved, with social circles naturally refreshing and adapting over time.
C. Friendships must remain permanent and unchanging for decades to provide any real physical or mental health benefits.
D. Digital communication platforms have severely damaged women's ability to practice the traditional 'art of neighboring'.

Bad Friend — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — Women have always had friendships … despite what men thought
32 — Innocent crush or moral panic?
43 — Modern girls and modern friendships
54 — Solidarity between friends
65 — Work wives
76 — The art of being neighbors
87 — Final summary

Bad Friend Summary & Overview

Bad Friend (2025) explores the fascinating and understudied subject of female friendship throughout history. This survey of friendships between women introduces the reader to Victorian schoolgirl attachments, Depression-era workplace confidantes, feminist consciousness-raising circles, and more. It also offers an incisive analysis of the way mainstream culture has alternately ignored, policed, and celebrated this specific bond.

Who Should Listen to Bad Friend?

History lovers who want to uncover untold stories of female friendship
Feminists ready to learn how female friendship has shaped resistance and revolution
Anyone who is, or has, a female friend

About the Author: Tiffany Watt Smith

Tiffany Watt Smith is a cultural historian and author specializing in the history of emotions. Her books include The Book of Human Emotions and Schadenfreude: The Joy of Another's Misfortune. She is a Reader in Cultural History at Queen Mary University of London and has been recognized as one of the BBC’s New Generation Thinkers.

Bad Friend

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to Bad Friend — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from Bad Friend

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Bad Friend — Full Chapter Overview

Bad Friend Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to Bad Friend?

About the Author: Tiffany Watt Smith

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