What will I learn about: why your anxiety in new situations is actually a perfectly normal evolutionary response to the unknown, rather than a personal flaw?

Discover why your anxiety in new situations is actually a perfectly normal evolutionary response to the unknown, rather than a personal flaw.

What will I learn about: abandon rigid social scripts and adopt a 'coach', 'gamer', or 'beginner' mindset to transform intimidating encounters into fun learning opportunities?

Learn how to abandon rigid social scripts and adopt a 'coach', 'gamer', or 'beginner' mindset to transform intimidating encounters into fun learning opportunities.

What will I learn about: the art of the proactive introduction by using a simple strategy to state your name, establish context, and clearly acknowledge why you should know each other?

Master the art of the proactive introduction by using a simple strategy to state your name, establish context, and clearly acknowledge why you should know each other.

What will I learn about: how writing down personal details immediately after meeting someone can help you avoid awkwardness and build the foundation for a strong relationship?

Find out how writing down personal details immediately after meeting someone can help you avoid awkwardness and build the foundation for a strong relationship.

What will I learn about: the biological barriers that make remembering names difficult and learn practical strategies to overcome context-dependent memory lapses to make a lasting impression?

Understand the biological barriers that make remembering names difficult and learn practical strategies to overcome context-dependent memory lapses to make a lasting impression.

What to Do When You’re New

How to be Comfortable, Confident, and Successful in New Situations

Keith Rollag

★ 4.1 / 5(50 ratings)

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Categories:

Career & Success Communication Skills

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why our brains treat being the 'new person' as a survival threat, and how you can flip that switch to feel instant comfort?
💡What if you could walk into any new job or social circle with a proven strategy to bypass awkwardness and build immediate confidence?
💡What’s the secret to mastering the art of the 'new' so you can stop dreading unfamiliar situations and start thriving in them?

Listen to What to Do When You’re New — Free Audiobook

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Key Takeaways from What to Do When You’re New

✓Discover why your anxiety in new situations is actually a perfectly normal evolutionary response to the unknown, rather than a personal flaw.
✓Learn how to abandon rigid social scripts and adopt a 'coach', 'gamer', or 'beginner' mindset to transform intimidating encounters into fun learning opportunities.
✓Master the art of the proactive introduction by using a simple strategy to state your name, establish context, and clearly acknowledge why you should know each other.
✓Find out how writing down personal details immediately after meeting someone can help you avoid awkwardness and build the foundation for a strong relationship.
✓Understand the biological barriers that make remembering names difficult and learn practical strategies to overcome context-dependent memory lapses to make a lasting impression.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from What to Do When You’re New

Mind Map

What to Do When You’re New

Evolutionary Roots of Anxiety+

Adopting the Right Mindsets+

Mastering Introductions+

Remembering Names+

Asking Questions Effectively+

Building Positive Relationships+

Performing Without Fear+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8

According to the book, what is the primary reason we naturally feel anxious in new situations?

A. It is a learned behavior stemming from modern corporate culture and performance reviews.
B. Our evolutionary history predisposed us to fear the unknown to avoid potential danger.
C. We lack the innate social skills that our prehistoric ancestors possessed.
D. Modern society requires us to interact with far fewer people than in prehistoric times.

Question 2 of 8

Why does the author caution against relying on a conversational 'script' when meeting new people?

A. Scripts prevent us from mindfully reflecting and improving how we handle new situations.
B. Scripts require too much mental energy to memorize and execute perfectly.
C. Relying on a script makes a person appear too eager and desperate to fit into a new group.
D. Scripts usually prompt us to ask confusing, multi-part questions.

Question 3 of 8

What is the author's advice regarding the fear of making a weak or poor first impression during an introduction?

A. It is highly detrimental and should be avoided by waiting for the other person to speak first.
B. It is a sign that you should practice your script more thoroughly before speaking.
C. It is actually far better to make a bad first impression than to not introduce yourself at all.
D. It usually happens because you failed to ask about the other person's accomplishments.

Question 4 of 8

How does 'context-dependent recall' explain why we often struggle to remember people's names?

A. We subconsciously refuse to learn the names of people we view as workplace competitors.
B. Our memory of a person's name is often tied exclusively to the specific environment where we usually see them.
C. Names are stored in the exact same brain region as faces, causing mental overlap and confusion.
D. Our prehistoric brains were designed to only remember about 150 names in a single lifetime.

Question 5 of 8

When asking questions as a newcomer, how can you avoid seeming incompetent and ensure people are willing to help?

A. Adopt a 'solve my problem' mindset to show that you value workplace efficiency.
B. Ask complex, multi-part questions to demonstrate your deep critical thinking skills.
C. Approach the person with an 'I want to learn' mindset rather than asking them to do the work for you.
D. Wait until you have been at the company for a few weeks before asking any technical questions.

Question 6 of 8

How does the fear of rejection affect a newcomer's interpretation of ambiguous social signals?

A. It causes them to interpret neutral behavior as evidence of dislike.
B. It makes them overly confident that everyone is impressed by their accomplishments.
C. It leads them to perceive constructive feedback as a form of reciprocal altruism.
D. It encourages them to adopt a 'coach mindset' when evaluating their peers.

Question 7 of 8

What is the primary difference between a 'talent is fixed' mindset and a 'getting-better' mindset?

A. The fixed mindset encourages asking for help, while the getting-better mindset relies on strict independence.
B. The fixed mindset believes abilities are innate, while the getting-better mindset believes abilities are developed through effort.
C. The fixed mindset ignores mistakes completely, while the getting-better mindset obsesses over making perfect first impressions.
D. The fixed mindset views new situations as a social video game, while the getting-better mindset views them as formal tests.

Question 8 of 8

How can newcomers use the psychological concept of 'reciprocal altruism' to build healthy relationships?

A. By offering to do other people's work for them so that they owe a favor in the future.
B. By constantly talking positively about their own accomplishments to inspire their peers.
C. By giving energy to others through listening and appreciation, which triggers an instinctive urge in them to help in return.
D. By observing others from a distance and only interacting with those who offer help first.