What will I learn about: why searching for a flawless 'soulmate' who never requires you to change creates an impossibly high bar for finding a spouse?

Understand why searching for a flawless 'soulmate' who never requires you to change creates an impossibly high bar for finding a spouse.

What will I learn about: Learn how marriage can significantly increase your wealth, as spouses uniquely hold each other accountable for long-term financial goals?

Learn how marriage can significantly increase your wealth, as spouses uniquely hold each other accountable for long-term financial goals.

What will I learn about: why the famous 'one-in-two' divorce statistic is misleading, and how factors like age, education, and when you have kids drastically lower your risk?

Discover why the famous 'one-in-two' divorce statistic is misleading, and how factors like age, education, and when you have kids drastically lower your risk.

What will I learn about: Explore the dangers of the modern 'Me Marriage,' where the pursuit of individual self-actualization replaces compromise and mutual growth?

Explore the dangers of the modern 'Me Marriage,' where the pursuit of individual self-actualization replaces compromise and mutual growth.

What will I learn about: why treating marriage as a realistic work in progress pays off, as two-thirds of unhappy spouses report becoming happy within five years if they stay together?

Find out why treating marriage as a realistic work in progress pays off, as two-thirds of unhappy spouses report becoming happy within five years if they stay together.

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The Meaning of Marriage

Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller

★ 4.2 / 5(127 ratings)

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Categories:

Sex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Have you ever wondered why the search for a "perfect soulmate" might be the very thing sabotaging your chances at a lasting marriage?
💡What if the secret to a thriving relationship isn’t finding the right person, but uncovering a hidden purpose for marriage that most people overlook?
💡Are you curious about how shifting your expectations could be the key to turning a struggling partnership into a lifelong journey of growth?

Listen to The Meaning of Marriage — Free Audiobook

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Key Takeaways from The Meaning of Marriage

✓Understand why searching for a flawless 'soulmate' who never requires you to change creates an impossibly high bar for finding a spouse.
✓Learn how marriage can significantly increase your wealth, as spouses uniquely hold each other accountable for long-term financial goals.
✓Discover why the famous 'one-in-two' divorce statistic is misleading, and how factors like age, education, and when you have kids drastically lower your risk.
✓Explore the dangers of the modern 'Me Marriage,' where the pursuit of individual self-actualization replaces compromise and mutual growth.
✓Find out why treating marriage as a realistic work in progress pays off, as two-thirds of unhappy spouses report becoming happy within five years if they stay together.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from The Meaning of Marriage

Mind Map

The Meaning of Marriage

Modern Marriage Crisis+

Hidden Benefits of Marriage+

Consumer vs. Covenant+

The Christian Perspective+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8

Why do many millennials choose cohabitation over marriage, according to the Gallup survey mentioned in the text?

A. They believe weddings are too expensive and prefer to save for a home.
B. They want to test the relationship to avoid the high statistical probability of divorce.
C. They no longer believe in the religious institution of marriage.
D. They prefer consumer relationships over covenantal ones.

Question 2 of 8

According to the National Marriage Project study, what is a key reason married individuals tend to accumulate more wealth than their unmarried peers?

A. They benefit from significant tax breaks and dual-income households.
B. They spend significantly less money on dating and socializing.
C. Spouses hold each other accountable for financial decisions since their shared future is at stake.
D. Married couples are more likely to receive financial support from their extended families.

Question 3 of 8

What is the primary characteristic of the 'Me Marriage' described by Tara Parker-Pope?

A. It prioritizes the relationship over the needs of the broader community.
B. It requires couples to compromise heavily on their career goals to make it work.
C. It is based on a mutual covenant to serve one another unconditionally.
D. It focuses on individual self-actualization and finding a mate who requires no compromise.

Question 4 of 8

How does philosopher Stanley Hauerwas describe the reality of marital compatibility?

A. We naturally gravitate toward our true soulmates if we wait long enough.
B. We never truly know who we marry, and marriage is about learning to love the stranger we find ourselves with.
C. True compatibility is easily determined through long-term cohabitation before marriage.
D. Compatibility is only found when both partners share identical religious and political beliefs.

Question 5 of 8

How does the text contrast a 'consumer' relationship with a 'covenantal' relationship?

A. Consumer relationships are based on unconditional commitment, while covenantal relationships depend on mutual attraction.
B. Consumer relationships require continuous self-promotion and meeting individual needs, whereas covenantal relationships prioritize the commitment itself.
C. Consumer relationships are typical of older generations, while covenantal relationships are preferred by millennials.
D. Consumer relationships lead to higher wealth accumulation, while covenantal relationships focus purely on emotional bonds.

Question 6 of 8

Why was the Old Testament's use of the Hebrew word ’allup (best friend) to describe a spouse considered remarkable at the time?

A. Marriages were historically viewed primarily as business transactions and women as property.
B. Friendship was considered a purely religious concept reserved for the priesthood.
C. The word was traditionally only used to describe a person's relationship with God.
D. It implied that physical attraction was completely irrelevant to a successful marriage.

Question 7 of 8

What does the metaphor of the twelve-ton truck driving over an old bridge illustrate about marriage?

A. Marriage places unnatural expectations on individuals that eventually break them.
B. Marriage creates new psychological flaws due to the heavy burden of shared responsibilities.
C. Marriage reveals our pre-existing structural defects and character flaws under pressure.
D. Marriage requires a strong foundation of financial security to survive heavy burdens.

Question 8 of 8

What surprising statistic about marital happiness is revealed by sociologist Linda Waite's research?

A. Unhappy couples who divorce generally report a massive spike in happiness within two years.
B. Two-thirds of people who report being unhappy in their marriage become happy within five years if they stay married.
C. Couples who cohabit before marriage report being 50 percent happier than those who do not.
D. Only 30 percent of married individuals state that they are very happy with their relationship.

The Meaning of Marriage — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2Marriage is declining across Western societies.
3Marriage can make you happier and wealthier than you might expect.
4Modern views of marriage set an impossibly high standard for finding a spouse.
5Viewing marriage as a work in progress helps us stay realistic.
6Marriage offers the chance for a richer, more intimate relationship.
7Marriage is, above all, a friendship.
8Marriage leaves no place to hide, and that can make us better people.
9Final summary

The Meaning of Marriage Summary & Overview

The Meaning of Marriage (2011) is a meditation on marriage in an age of skyrocketing divorce rates and growing skepticism that a life of monogamy can deliver true happiness. Pastor Timothy Keller and theologian Kathy Keller ask what’s gone wrong – why are so many couples hesitant to take their vows and so many others calling it quits on their marriages? The authors’ answer: we’re far too idealistic, set impossible standards, and have forgotten the true meaning of matrimony – learning to love anew each day, a lesson at the heart of the Bible’s teachings.

Who Should Listen to The Meaning of Marriage?

Singles looking for their soulmates
Would-be divorcees thinking about giving it another chance
Engaged people wondering what married life has in store

About the Author: Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller

Timothy Keller is a pastor at the Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City. A graduate of Bucknell University, Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, and Westminster Theological Seminary, he was a minister in his native Virginia before moving north with his wife, Kathy Keller, and their three children.

Kathy Keller attended Allegheny College and completed her religious studies at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary. She’s the co-founder of Redeemer Presbyterian Church and a regular contributor to outlets such as the New York Times and Christianity Today.