Talk audiobook cover - The Science of Conversation

Talk

The Science of Conversation

Elizabeth Stokoe

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Categories:
Communication Skills

If You're Curious About These Questions...

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Key Takeaways from Talk

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Mind Map

Talk
Conversation Mechanics+
Openings & Rapport+
Decoding Fillers & Pauses+
The Body Language Myth+
Choice Architecture & Wording+
Service & Requests+
Navigating Offers+
Real Analysis vs Role-Play+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9
What happens when someone responds to a standard greeting with an immediate demand instead of a reciprocal greeting?
  • A. They demonstrate high conversational entitlement and secure better service.
  • B. They become a 'first mover' who skips the adjacency pair, often coming across as rude.
  • C. They successfully use choice architecture to steer the conversation.
  • D. They are signaling that they are about to deliver a dispreferred response.
Question 2 of 9
How can customer service workers make the standard inquiry 'How are you?' feel more genuine rather than scripted?
  • A. By asking it immediately upon the customer's arrival.
  • B. By pairing it with a compliment about the customer's appearance.
  • C. By asking it out of sequence, such as while typing or looking something up.
  • D. By replacing it with a negatively polarized question.
Question 3 of 9
According to conversation analysts, what does a pause before responding to a question usually indicate?
  • A. The speaker is carefully processing the information they just heard.
  • B. The speaker is searching for the right vocabulary word.
  • C. The speaker is preparing to change the subject using a signpost word.
  • D. The speaker is about to deliver a 'dispreferred response,' such as saying no.
Question 4 of 9
In the context of conversation analysis, what does the filler word 'so' typically signal?
  • A. The speaker is preparing to get to what they perceive as the main point of the talk.
  • B. The speaker is confused and needs the information repeated.
  • C. The speaker has just processed new and unexpected information.
  • D. The speaker is about to politely decline an invitation.
Question 5 of 9
Why is the widely repeated statistic that '93 percent of communication is body language' considered inaccurate?
  • A. It fails to account for the use of filler words like 'um' and 'ah.'
  • B. Recent studies have proven that body language only accounts for 50 percent of communication.
  • C. It stems from a limited 1971 study that asked listeners to judge a speaker's mood based on the delivery of just one word.
  • D. It was created by corporate HR departments to justify communications role-play exercises.
Question 6 of 9
Why did doctors get a much higher positive response rate when they asked patients, 'Is there SOME other issue you'd like to address?' instead of using the word ANY?
  • A. 'Some' implies that the doctor has plenty of time, whereas 'any' implies a rush.
  • B. 'Any' is negatively polarized and makes it easier for people to answer with a 'no.'
  • C. 'Some' is an open-ended word that forces patients to tell a long story.
  • D. 'Any' makes the patient feel like they are being interrogated.
Question 7 of 9
What impression is created when a person uses indirect, apologetic phrases to make a request, such as 'I was wondering if it would be possible to...'?
  • A. It shows they are highly empathetic to the service provider.
  • B. It signals that they feel a strong sense of entitlement to the service.
  • C. It creates the impression that they are unsure whether they are entitled to the service.
  • D. It guarantees that the service provider will anticipate their hidden needs.
Question 8 of 9
How should you respond to a 'serial recruiter' who places the mental burden on you to make an offer (e.g., 'Let's make a time to chat')?
  • A. Immediately suggest a specific time and place to resolve the issue quickly.
  • B. Pause for several seconds to show you are not taking the offer for granted.
  • C. Gently turn the burden back to them by saying something like, 'Sure! Let me know what times work for you.'
  • D. Ask a negatively polarized question to shut down the conversation.
Question 9 of 9
Why do conversation analysts consider communications role-playing in the workplace to be a flawed exercise?
  • A. It makes employees too emotional and leads to workplace conflict.
  • B. It creates an artificial context where employees try to match scripts rather than use their natural conversational tool kit.
  • C. It relies too heavily on analyzing body language rather than spoken words.
  • D. It encourages the use of closed questions, which are always ineffective in customer service.

Talk — Full Chapter Overview

Talk Summary & Overview

From small talk with the barista to water-cooler chat with colleagues, we spend a lot of our time talking — yet very few of us understand the science that underpins how we talk. Talk (2018) breaks down the fundamental building blocks and typical patterns of conversational encounters to reveal the structures and strategies behind what we say, and offers a blueprint for how we can learn to talk and listen more effectively.

Who Should Listen to Talk?

  • Anyone who’s ever had trouble getting a point across
  • Anyone who’s ever suffered a communication breakdown
  • People who want to take their conversational skills up a notch

About the Author: Elizabeth Stokoe

Elizabeth Stokoe is professor of social interaction at Loughborough University, where she specializes in conversation analysis. She developed the CARM (Conversational Analytic Role-Play) method, which uses recordings of real-time conversations to identify typical problems and patterns in conversation. As a conversation analyst, she has consulted on conversational strategy in fields ranging from hostage negotiation to speed dating.

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