Collaborating with the Enemy audiobook cover - How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

Collaborating with the Enemy

How to Work with People You Don't Agree with or Like or Trust

Adam Kahane

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Corporate CultureManagement & LeadershipCommunication SkillsPersonal Development

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Collaborating with the Enemy
Redefining Collaboration+
Embracing Conflict+
The Art of Stepping Back+
Building Bridges+
Collaborative Problem Solving+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 6
According to the text, what is a central premise of collaborating with people you do not like or trust?
  • A. You must learn to genuinely like them in order to work effectively.
  • B. You need to compromise your core values to reach a peaceful agreement.
  • C. You should view conflicts as opportunities for real progress rather than obstacles.
  • D. Traditional teamwork methods are always the best approach for polarized situations.
Question 2 of 6
How does the book suggest you should reframe your mindset when facing opponents in a conflict?
  • A. See them as potential sources of insight that can help you see the full picture.
  • B. View them as obstacles that need to be carefully navigated or bypassed.
  • C. Treat them as competitors whose arguments must be systematically dismantled.
  • D. Consider them as equals only when they agree to your ground rules.
Question 3 of 6
When Jamal, a product team leader, noticed rising tensions between the design and engineering departments, what counterintuitive approach did he take?
  • A. He separated the teams to minimize daily friction and arguments.
  • B. He smoothed things over by mandating a top-down compromise.
  • C. He highlighted their differences and organized a workshop to share frustrations openly.
  • D. He replaced the most vocal complainers to restore team harmony.
Question 4 of 6
What is the primary purpose of 'stepping back' during a heated conflict, as described in the text?
  • A. To permanently disengage from a toxic or unproductive situation.
  • B. To gain perspective, reflect on your own biases, and make more intentional choices.
  • C. To give the other person the silent treatment until they concede their point.
  • D. To gather evidence and build a stronger case against your opponent.
Question 5 of 6
Why does the text recommend using 'I' statements, such as 'I see this differently,' instead of saying 'You are wrong'?
  • A. It establishes your authority and dominance in the conversation.
  • B. It forces the other person to apologize for their mistake.
  • C. It reduces defensiveness and keeps the conversation open and constructive.
  • D. It passively ends the conversation without having to resolve the issue.
Question 6 of 6
Which technique borrowed from improv theater is recommended to foster creativity and demonstrate respect during collaborative problem-solving?
  • A. The 'mirroring' technique
  • B. The 'yes, and' technique
  • C. The 'no, but' technique
  • D. The 'role reversal' technique

Collaborating with the Enemy — Full Chapter Overview

Collaborating with the Enemy Summary & Overview

Collaborating with the Enemy (2017) offers a fresh perspective on tackling complex challenges in an increasingly polarized world. It introduces practical strategies for turning conflicts into opportunities, offering guidance on working effectively with those we may see as adversaries to uncover breakthrough solutions and drive meaningful innovation.

Who Should Listen to Collaborating with the Enemy?

  • Leaders managing conflicts within diverse or polarized teams
  • Community organizers and activists working on contentious local issues
  • Professionals seeking creative solutions through unconventional partnerships

About the Author: Adam Kahane

Adam Kahane is an author, facilitator, and expert in addressing complex societal challenges through collaborative methods. As a director of Reos Partners, he has worked in over fifty countries, guiding diverse groups in tackling difficult issues through innovative problem-solving approaches. Kahane's influential books, including Solving Tough Problems (2004) and Power and Love (2010), have contributed significantly to the field of collaborative leadership and social innovation.

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