Bless This Mess audiobook cover - A Modern Guide to Faith and Parenting in a Chaotic World

Bless This Mess

A Modern Guide to Faith and Parenting in a Chaotic World

Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell

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ParentingReligion & Spirituality

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Bless This Mess
Tailored Parenting+
Self-Determination Theory+
Morality & Empathy+
Family Values+
Money & Generosity+
Social Justice & Diversity+
Sensitive Topics+
Faith & Rituals+
Managing Anxiety+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9
According to the authors, what does 'ego-involvement' refer to in the context of parenting?
  • A. A parenting style that prioritizes the parents' self-care over the child's needs.
  • B. The tendency of parents to over-identify with their child's successes and replace the child's dreams with their own.
  • C. Allowing children to dictate family rules, leading to an inflated sense of self in the child.
  • D. Praising children too frequently for minor accomplishments, resulting in narcissistic behavior.
Question 2 of 9
Based on self-determination theory, how can parents best foster their child's inner drive and autonomy?
  • A. By removing all rules and boundaries to allow total freedom.
  • B. By implementing a strict system of rewards and punishments.
  • C. By giving children choices and allowing them to make their own decisions.
  • D. By solving complex problems for their children to build their confidence.
Question 3 of 9
Why do the authors recommend introducing children to the concept of 'moral ambiguity'?
  • A. To help them move past simplistic 'good guy vs. bad guy' tropes and cultivate empathy for others.
  • B. To teach them that traditional Christian morals are outdated in modern society.
  • C. To explain that rules and laws do not apply in most real-world situations.
  • D. To prepare them for the harsh and unforgiving realities of the justice system.
Question 4 of 9
What is the primary reason the authors advise against relying on rewards and punishments to influence a child's behavior?
  • A. They create an overly competitive and hostile dynamic between siblings.
  • B. They fail to help children internalize the desired values, meaning the behavior stops when the reward or threat is gone.
  • C. They are too difficult for parents to consistently track and enforce over the years.
  • D. They directly contradict the progressive Christian principle of unconditional grace.
Question 5 of 9
When giving younger children an allowance, why do the authors suggest providing an amount that is divisible by three?
  • A. To teach them basic math and division skills at an early age.
  • B. To easily divide the money into saving, spending, and giving away.
  • C. To account for taxes, living expenses, and discretionary spending.
  • D. To symbolize the Christian concept of the Holy Trinity.
Question 6 of 9
To help children develop a caring attitude and pursue social justice, what specific conversational habit should parents adopt?
  • A. Asking children how they think their actions make others feel, rather than just asking how they themselves feel.
  • B. Shielding them from historical injustices until they are emotionally mature enough in their teenage years.
  • C. Ensuring they only consume media that features positive, progressive role models.
  • D. Forcing them to memorize and recite the family's mission statement every morning.
Question 7 of 9
How do the authors suggest parents handle sensitive topics like sex, drugs, and alcohol?
  • A. By delivering one comprehensive, formal 'Talk' when the child reaches puberty.
  • B. By relying strictly on abstinence-only education to ensure the child's safety.
  • C. By replacing a single conversation with a series of casual, nuanced discussions over time.
  • D. By allowing the church and school to handle these topics to avoid awkward family dynamics.
Question 8 of 9
According to the book, what is an important psychological benefit of parents praying together with their children?
  • A. It guarantees that children will remain active in the Christian faith as adults.
  • B. It establishes the parents as the ultimate, unquestionable moral authorities in the household.
  • C. It teaches children that their parents are human and vulnerable, with their own worries and hopes.
  • D. It serves as an effective substitute for professional psychological therapy during stressful times.
Question 9 of 9
What does psychological research suggest parents should do when their child suffers from anxiety?
  • A. Allow the child to avoid the anxiety-inducing situation so they feel a sense of safety and trust.
  • B. Firmly encourage the child to confront their fears so they learn that their anxieties can be overcome.
  • C. Ignore the anxiety completely so as not to draw unnecessary attention to it.
  • D. Punish the child for expressing irrational fears in order to build mental toughness.

Bless This Mess — Full Chapter Overview

Bless This Mess Summary & Overview

Bless This Mess (2019) is a parents’ guide to raising Christian children in a bewildering age. Combining spiritual wisdom with the latest thought in child psychology, the authors aim to show that there’s no reason to think of the terms “progressive” and “Christian” as contradictory when it comes to child-rearing.

Who Should Listen to Bless This Mess?

  • Prospective parents who want to raise their children to be both Christian and progressive
  • Current parents who have lost touch with their own childhood faith
  • Anyone interested in twenty-first century Christianity

About the Author: Molly Baskette and Ellen O’Donnell

Rev. Molly Baskette is the senior minister at First Congregational Church of Berkeley, California, and has written books on a wide range of topics – including public confession, coping with grief, and the revitalization of churches. Her recent works include Standing Naked Before God and Real Good Church. Ellen O’Donnell has a PhD in clinical psychology and is a child psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital for Children and Shriners Hospital for Children in Boston. She also works as an instructor at Harvard Medical School and has authored a number of scholarly articles in academic journals, such as the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.

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