What will I learn about: how to use the 'left-hand column' method to uncover the hidden gap between what people say and what they truly feel?

Discover how to use the 'left-hand column' method to uncover the hidden gap between what people say and what they truly feel.

What will I learn about: the hidden barriers that cause people to withhold critical information, such as fear of tension, emotional burnout, and feeling undervalued?

Understand the hidden barriers that cause people to withhold critical information, such as fear of tension, emotional burnout, and feeling undervalued.

What will I learn about: foster a safe, encouraging environment that prompts people to share their unspoken thoughts using the 'Ask approach'?

Learn how to foster a safe, encouraging environment that prompts people to share their unspoken thoughts using the 'Ask approach'.

What will I learn about: the 'ladder of understanding' to stop jumping to conclusions, challenge your own assumptions, and invite diverse perspectives?

Master the 'ladder of understanding' to stop jumping to conclusions, challenge your own assumptions, and invite diverse perspectives.

What will I learn about: how to overcome 'curiosity killers' like emotional hijacking, rushed schedules, and groupthink to unlock deeper human connections?

Find out how to overcome 'curiosity killers' like emotional hijacking, rushed schedules, and groupthink to unlock deeper human connections.

Ask

Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life

Jeff Wetzler

★ 4.0 / 5(3 ratings)

Start ListeningDownload QR code that opens AudiobookHub on the App Store

Try free on iPhoneScan to start in 5 seconds

Categories:

Management & Leadership Personal Development Communication Skills

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Did you know that most people withhold their most valuable insights and genuine feelings, even when you think you're asking the right questions?
💡What’s the secret to breaking through the invisible communication barriers that prevent others from telling you what they really think?
💡What if you could unlock a simple, repeatable method to tap into the hidden wisdom of those around you to make smarter decisions and build deeper connections?

Listen to Ask — Free Audiobook

Loading player...

Key Takeaways from Ask

✓Discover how to use the 'left-hand column' method to uncover the hidden gap between what people say and what they truly feel.
✓Understand the hidden barriers that cause people to withhold critical information, such as fear of tension, emotional burnout, and feeling undervalued.
✓Learn how to foster a safe, encouraging environment that prompts people to share their unspoken thoughts using the 'Ask approach'.
✓Master the 'ladder of understanding' to stop jumping to conclusions, challenge your own assumptions, and invite diverse perspectives.
✓Find out how to overcome 'curiosity killers' like emotional hijacking, rushed schedules, and groupthink to unlock deeper human connections.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Ask

Mind Map

Ask

The Unspoken Truths+

The Ask Approach+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8

What is the primary purpose of the 'left-hand column' method developed by Chris Argyris?

A. To track project deadlines and identify organizational inefficiencies.
B. To uncover the gap between what is said and what is truly felt by writing down unspoken thoughts.
C. To create a structured agenda for difficult conversations between managers and employees.
D. To document the emotional reactions of team members during a crisis.

Question 2 of 8

According to the text, which of the following is a cognitive barrier that often causes people to withhold important information?

A. They believe that traditional forms of communication are inferior to emotional expressions.
B. They process thoughts much faster than they can speak, leading to an incomplete expression of ideas.
C. They want to leverage their knowledge to gain a power advantage in the relationship.
D. They assume that the other person already knows the information being discussed.

Question 3 of 8

What is one of the 'curiosity killers' that can stifle your ability to learn from others?

A. The 'ladder of understanding'
B. Paraphrasing the speaker's words
C. The pressure for speed and efficiency
D. Seeking out diverse perspectives

Question 4 of 8

When creating a safe space for open communication, how should you handle the physical setting of the conversation?

A. Choose formal office settings to emphasize the importance of the discussion.
B. Select spaces that feel comfortable and neutral, avoiding places that highlight power imbalances.
C. Ensure the conversation takes place in a public area to encourage transparency.
D. Always conduct the meeting virtually to reduce the pressure of face-to-face interaction.

Question 5 of 8

When exploring another person's thought process, what does it mean to ask for their 'headline'?

A. Asking them to summarize the most recent news regarding their project.
B. Asking them to share their main conclusion or position on a topic.
C. Asking them to identify the most emotionally charged part of their story.
D. Asking them to provide a brief, written agenda before the meeting begins.

Question 6 of 8

Deep listening requires tuning into three specific channels simultaneously. Which of the following correctly identifies these three channels?

A. Content, Emotions, and Actions
B. Facts, Opinions, and Biases
C. Words, Body Language, and Tone
D. Past experiences, Present feelings, and Future goals

Question 7 of 8

During the 'Reflect and Reconnect' step, what is the recommended approach if you decide NOT to follow the advice or feedback someone gave you?

A. Thank them for their time but avoid mentioning that you are rejecting their advice to spare their feelings.
B. Explain your reasoning for not following the advice and invite further discussion.
C. Sift out their feedback entirely and focus only on the insights you plan to implement.
D. Ask them to provide a different solution that better aligns with your core assumptions.

Question 8 of 8

What is the primary goal of the 'Ask approach' detailed by Jeff Wetzler?

A. To persuade others to adopt your viewpoint without causing defensiveness.
B. To uncover hidden insights and foster open dialogue for better understanding and problem-solving.
C. To streamline workplace meetings by eliminating unnecessary emotional discussions.
D. To help individuals process their own internal trauma through guided self-reflection.

Ask — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — Uncovering unspoken truths in communication
32 — Why people hold back information
43 — Strengthening your curiosity
54 — Building a safe space
65 — Asking better questions
76 — Building deep listening skills
87 — Reflecting and reconnecting
98 — Final summary

Ask Summary & Overview

Ask (2024) equips you with a practical method for uncovering others’ genuine thoughts and emotions, fostering smarter decisions and deeper connections. By addressing common communication barriers and providing essential questioning techniques, it empowers you to tap into people’s authentic perspectives effectively.

Who Should Listen to Ask?

Professionals who want to hone their communication skills
Individuals craving deeper interpersonal connection
Those intrigued by communication psychology

About the Author: Jeff Wetzler

Jeff Wetzler has a doctorate in adult learning and leadership from Columbia University and a Bachelor’s in psychology from Brown University. He’s served as a management consultant to top corporations, a learning facilitator for global leaders, and chief learning officer at Teach For America. As co-CEO of Transcend, an innovation organization, he continues to shape the education landscape.

Ask