Your Turn audiobook cover - How to Be an Adult

Your Turn

How to Be an Adult

Julie Lythcott-Haims

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Your Turn
Redefining Adulthood+
Embracing Imperfection+
Finding Your Authentic Path+
Creating Momentum+
Financial Independence+
Wellness and Self-Care+
Resilience in Hard Times+
Meaning and Connection+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9
What is the author's primary critique of the twentieth-century psychological markers of adulthood, such as getting married and leaving home?
  • A. They are too difficult for young adults to achieve in today's economy.
  • B. They are outdated and lead to people just 'playing the part' of an adult rather than finding authentic fulfillment.
  • C. They focus too much on financial success rather than physical and mental well-being.
  • D. They were created by people who did not understand the concept of learned helplessness.
Question 2 of 9
What does the author mean by the concept of 'fending for yourself'?
  • A. Refusing help from others to prove your total independence.
  • B. Mastering all domestic skills like cooking and cleaning before moving out.
  • C. Stepping up to face life's challenges and putting together solutions based on your available resources.
  • D. Earning enough money to never have to rely on a partner or family member.
Question 3 of 9
According to the book, what is the most productive way to view 'failing'?
  • A. As a sign that you have chosen the wrong career path and need to pivot.
  • B. As a necessary evil that should be minimized through careful, perfectionist planning.
  • C. As a permanent reflection of your fixed mindset that requires therapy to overcome.
  • D. As a source of valuable feedback that helps move you from your comfort zone into your stretch zone.
Question 4 of 9
Why does the author advise against making life decisions solely to please or impress your family and community?
  • A. Because you are the only person who truly knows yourself and what will make you happy.
  • B. Because family members often give outdated financial and career advice.
  • C. Because it usually leads to a lower-paying and less prestigious career path.
  • D. Because true independence requires severing ties with overbearing relatives.
Question 5 of 9
How does the author suggest using the 'flashlight' of your intention to get unstuck in life?
  • A. By shining it on your past mistakes so you can analyze them and not repeat them.
  • B. By aiming it at 'success' and opportunities, rather than focusing it on the fear of failure.
  • C. By keeping the beam as wide as possible to keep all of your options open.
  • D. By focusing it on the people around you to see how you can solve their problems.
Question 6 of 9
What financial lesson does the author draw from the famous 'marshmallow test'?
  • A. You should spend your money on small daily treats to maintain your mental health.
  • B. Food and housing expenses should never exceed one-third of your monthly income.
  • C. Delaying gratification by saving and investing early leads to a much bigger financial payoff later in life.
  • D. You should only invest your money in causes and issues that bring you immediate joy.
Question 7 of 9
In the context of taking care of your mental well-being, what does the author mean by 'claiming your agency'?
  • A. Hiring a therapist or psychiatrist to help you work through deep-rooted childhood trauma.
  • B. Setting healthy boundaries by politely telling overbearing loved ones that you can handle your own tasks.
  • C. Forgiving people who have wronged you so that you can lower your blood pressure and stress.
  • D. Initiating deep, vulnerable conversations with strangers to boost your daily mood.
Question 8 of 9
When facing incredibly difficult times, what does the author suggest is one of the best ways to practice resilience and 'make meaning' of the experience?
  • A. Distracting yourself with spontaneous, magical acts of kindness for strangers.
  • B. Spending time alone in silence until you completely understand why the bad thing happened.
  • C. Pouring your grief into supporting and nurturing others who are going through similar awful things.
  • D. Pretending the situation is a game that you are playing from the bleachers.
Question 9 of 9
What actionable advice does the author give to combat the feeling that adulting is just a 'grind'?
  • A. Become an 'elf' by performing small, spontaneous, and magical acts of kindness for others.
  • B. Take an informational interview to explore a completely different, more exciting career path.
  • C. Practice mindfulness by sitting quietly for an hour every day and scanning your body for discomfort.
  • D. Set up a Roth IRA to ensure your financial future is secure, which relieves daily anxiety.

Your Turn — Full Chapter Overview

Your Turn Summary & Overview

Your Turn (2021) is a twenty-first-century guide to adulting – and self-discovery. Stories and insights covering everything from relationships to mental health to money paint a picture of what it means to be a grown-up. Rather than outlining a rigid definition or goal, it offers tools to help you feel empowered and excited about navigating the landscape of adulthood and living a rich, meaningful life.

Who Should Listen to Your Turn?

  • Twenty- and thirty-somethings wondering what it really means to “grow up”
  • Millennials who feel overwhelmed by the demands of adulthood
  • Anyone looking to better connect with the young adults in their lives

About the Author: Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-Haims holds a BA in American Studies from Stanford, a JD from Harvard Law School, and an MFA in writing from California College of the Arts. Her other books include the New York Times best seller How to Raise an Adult and Real American.

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