Passionista audiobook cover - The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

Passionista

The Empowered Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man

Ian Kerner

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Categories:
Sex & Relationships

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

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Key Takeaways from Passionista

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Mind Map

Passionista
Purpose & Approach+
The Male Body+
The Male Mind+
Shared Sexual Experience+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 6
According to the text, why might sex often feel rehearsed, predictable, and emotionally hollow for men?
  • A. They have naturally low levels of oxytocin and dopamine during physical intimacy.
  • B. They develop a habit of 'pulling in' their pelvic region, which creates a constant state of tension.
  • C. They become overly focused on their partner's pleasure and ignore their own erogenous zones.
  • D. They rely too heavily on visual stimulation to maintain an erotic erection.
Question 2 of 6
What does the text identify as the most common reason a man might struggle to maintain an erection?
  • A. A lack of physical attraction to their partner.
  • B. Insufficient direct stimulation to the frenulum.
  • C. Being depressed or stressed.
  • D. A sudden drop in adrenaline and dopamine levels.
Question 3 of 6
Why might a couple experience highly satisfying 'hot sex' immediately following an argument?
  • A. Anger produces dopamine, which stimulates an adrenaline rush and increases arousal.
  • B. Arguments trigger a massive release of oxytocin, which forces the couple to seek physical comfort.
  • C. The stress of fighting causes a reflex erection that significantly prolongs sexual stamina.
  • D. Arguing temporarily suppresses the fight-or-flight response, allowing the male body to deeply relax.
Question 4 of 6
How does the author suggest couples reignite the spark and stimulate arousal chemicals when desire wanes over time?
  • A. By scheduling sexual intimacy to ensure it happens on a consistent basis.
  • B. By making the relationship less predictable and more surprising through the use of sexual fantasy.
  • C. By focusing strictly on mastering new physical techniques rather than emotional connection.
  • D. By avoiding open discussions about sex to reduce the man's performance anxiety.
Question 5 of 6
What specific exercise is recommended in the text to help men get better at delaying ejaculation?
  • A. Deep breathing exercises to lower their heart rate during foreplay.
  • B. Cardiovascular exercises to improve blood flow to the pelvic region.
  • C. Practicing Kegel exercises by stopping their urine midstream.
  • D. Stretching their inner thighs and lower abdomen to release built-up tension.
Question 6 of 6
When transitioning to intercourse, what physical approach does the text recommend to build a better experience?
  • A. Immediate and deep penetration to maximize physical friction and heat.
  • B. Having the man take complete control of the pacing to boost his sexual confidence.
  • C. Using highly rhythmic and predictable stimulation so he knows exactly what to expect.
  • D. Starting with shallow penetration, enveloping only the head of the penis before going all the way inside.

Passionista — Full Chapter Overview

Passionista Summary & Overview

Passionista (2008) is a guide to understanding male sexuality and satisfaction. It offers answers to the questions partners may have – and shows that giving pleasure can be just as fun as receiving it. 

Who Should Listen to Passionista?

  • Women looking to better pleasure their man
  • Couples who want to deepen their sex life
  • Those who want to enjoy sex to the fullest

About the Author: Ian Kerner

Ian Kerner, PhD, is a psychotherapist, sex therapist, couples counselor, and New York Times best-selling author. He has written numerous books on the subject of sex, including She Comes First, and coaches couples on how to have a more shared intimate experience.

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