What will I learn about: Racism does not require malicious intent; casual prejudices and "colorblind" ideologies actively uphold systemic inequalities?

Racism does not require malicious intent; casual prejudices and "colorblind" ideologies actively uphold systemic inequalities.

What will I learn about: True feminism must abandon gatekeeping to become inclusive of all women, while men must take an active role in dismantling pervasive rape culture?

True feminism must abandon gatekeeping to become inclusive of all women, while men must take an active role in dismantling pervasive rape culture.

What will I learn about: Society's fleeting beauty standards push people toward extreme cosmetic procedures, but altering your physical appearance cannot fix a fundamentally flawed character?

Society's fleeting beauty standards push people toward extreme cosmetic procedures, but altering your physical appearance cannot fix a fundamentally flawed character.

What will I learn about: Organized religion is frequently and hypocritically weaponized to justify homophobia and sexism by cherry-picking scripture?

Organized religion is frequently and hypocritically weaponized to justify homophobia and sexism by cherry-picking scripture.

What will I learn about: Poor digital etiquette—from hashtag abuse and oversharing to spreading unverified news—reflects a broader cultural decline in manners and critical thinking?

Poor digital etiquette—from hashtag abuse and oversharing to spreading unverified news—reflects a broader cultural decline in manners and critical thinking.

I'm Judging You

The Do-Better Manual

Luvvie Ajayi

★ 2.7 / 5(25 ratings)

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Categories:

Society & Culture

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡How does claiming to be "colorblind" actually perpetuate systemic racism, and why is recognizing a person's race essential to true equality?
💡What are the defining traits of the "Lannister" and the "Frenemy," and how can identifying the nine types of toxic friends help you clean up your social circle?
💡From hashtag abuse to holding onto a vintage Hotmail account, what specific digital faux pas might be silently damaging your personal brand and professional reputation?

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Key Takeaways from I'm Judging You

✓Racism does not require malicious intent; casual prejudices and "colorblind" ideologies actively uphold systemic inequalities.
✓True feminism must abandon gatekeeping to become inclusive of all women, while men must take an active role in dismantling pervasive rape culture.
✓Society's fleeting beauty standards push people toward extreme cosmetic procedures, but altering your physical appearance cannot fix a fundamentally flawed character.
✓Organized religion is frequently and hypocritically weaponized to justify homophobia and sexism by cherry-picking scripture.
✓Poor digital etiquette—from hashtag abuse and oversharing to spreading unverified news—reflects a broader cultural decline in manners and critical thinking.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from I'm Judging You

Mind Map

I'm Judging You

Social Life & Etiquette+

Culture & Society+

Digital Behavior+

Politics & Action+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9

What is the author's preferred solution for dealing with 'dinner scrooges' when eating out with friends?

A. Confronting them directly at the table about their behavior
B. Eating at places with prix fixe menus and paying in cash
C. Refusing to invite them to any future dinner parties
D. Using bill-splitting apps to track exactly what everyone owes

Question 2 of 9

According to Ajayi's classification of bad friends, what defines a 'Lannister'?

A. They are overly competitive and try to outdo your achievements.
B. They only contact you when they are in a crisis and need help.
C. They are highly untrustworthy and have committed betrayals like stealing money.
D. They constantly enable your bad decisions without challenging you.

Question 3 of 9

How does the author view society's current beauty standards, particularly regarding extreme plastic surgery?

A. They are permanent ideals that everyone should strive to achieve safely.
B. They are inherently racist and require a complete rejection of all cosmetics.
C. They are empowering as long as women are making the choices for themselves.
D. They are messed up and fleeting, often celebrating features today that were ridiculed in the past.

Question 4 of 9

Why does the author argue that claiming to be 'colorblind' regarding race is dangerous?

A. Because it denies a person's differences instead of treating them as equals.
B. Because it is a concept invented by politicians to secure minority votes.
C. Because it legally prevents affirmative action policies from being implemented.
D. Because it forces people to ignore systemic class differences.

Question 5 of 9

What criticism does Ajayi have regarding the modern feminist movement?

A. It focuses too much on dismantling capitalism rather than achieving equal pay.
B. It has become largely centered around the image of the straight, white, Christian woman.
C. It forces women to reject traditional femininity, such as wearing high heels.
D. It is too welcoming to men who do not actually understand rape culture.

Question 6 of 9

How does the author highlight the hypocrisy of using the Bible to justify homophobia?

A. By pointing out that Jesus himself never spoke about the institution of marriage.
B. By citing the fact that the Bible was written entirely by flawed men, not God.
C. By noting that people ignore other rules in Leviticus, like prohibitions against eating pork or wearing mixed fabrics.
D. By proving that the original translations of the text were intentionally altered.

Question 7 of 9

According to Ajayi, what does using a Hotmail or AOL email address signal to others in a professional online setting?

A. That you are overly concerned with internet privacy and security.
B. That you are a visionary who appreciates vintage technology.
C. That you are untrustworthy and appear to be frozen in time.
D. That you are highly susceptible to falling for fake news.

Question 8 of 9

Which of the following is a characteristic of 'Kanye West syndrome' in online communication?

A. Using pompous and grandiose language, like 'visionary,' to describe oneself.
B. Constantly threatening followers who disagree with your opinions.
C. Manufacturing elaborate lies to gain viral internet fame.
D. Oversharing intimate details about your daily routine and bodily fluids.

Question 9 of 9

What is one of the primary, everyday actions the author suggests for combating the culture of hate and intolerance?

A. Donating large sums of money to civil rights organizations.
B. Deleting all social media accounts to avoid the spread of fake news.
C. Refusing to engage in conversations with anyone who voted differently than you.
D. Speaking up and asking friends to stop telling sexist and racist jokes.

I'm Judging You — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
21 — Three kinds of dinner scrooges to watch out for.
32 — Nine types of bad friends whose awful behavior can test us.
43 — Think twice before getting plastic surgery or buying into unhealthy beauty standards.
54 — You don’t need malicious intent to be racist.
65 — Men should better understand today’s rape culture, and white women should make feminism more inclusive.
76 — Don’t use religion to justify homophobia, sexism, or hate.
87 — We need to improve how we use social media.
98 — Five pitfalls to avoid if you want to communicate successfully online.
109 — Internet fame is questionable, and it has created seven dubious personality types.
1110 — The 2016 election showed that we need to do better.
1211 — Final summary

I'm Judging You Summary & Overview

I’m Judging You (2016) provides a uniquely humorous take on all the ways modern society can produce annoying, absurd and downright terrible people. Whether it’s misusing hashtags on social media or being an unbearable sexist monster, author Luvvie Ajayi is ready to call out their awfulness and provide readers with some pointers on how to avoid her judgemental wrath.

Who Should Listen to I'm Judging You?

Anyone looking to get more woke
People fed up with racism and sexism
Readers who want a humorous take on American society

About the Author: Luvvie Ajayi

Luvvie Ajayi is a writer of pop-culture criticism and sought-after public speaker who doesn’t shy away from calling out injustices when she sees them. She’s also an activist, digital strategist and executive director of HIV/AIDS organization The Red Pump Project. You can find more of her writing at awesomelyluvvie.com.

I'm Judging You

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to I'm Judging You — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from I'm Judging You

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

I'm Judging You — Full Chapter Overview

I'm Judging You Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to I'm Judging You?

About the Author: Luvvie Ajayi

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