Helping audiobook cover - How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help

Helping

How to Offer, Give, and Receive Help

Edgar H. Schein

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Categories:
Corporate CulturePsychology

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Helping by Edgar H. Schein
The Nature of Helping+
Three Categories of Help+
Underlying Social Dynamics+
The Status Imbalance+
How Receivers Complicate Help+
How Helpers Complicate Help+
The Solution: Humble Inquiry+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 9
What are the three basic categories of helping described in the book?
  • A. Personal, Professional, and Medical
  • B. Informal, Semi-formal, and Formal
  • C. Physical, Emotional, and Financial
  • D. Direct, Indirect, and Systemic
Question 2 of 9
According to the text, which type of help receives the most attention in literature, despite being less frequently needed in our daily lives?
  • A. Informal help
  • B. Semi-formal help
  • C. Formal help
  • D. Psychological help
Question 3 of 9
How does the book compare human relationships and helping to economics?
  • A. Helping always involves a literal exchange of money or goods.
  • B. People expect an 'equitable exchange' and a balance of give-and-take in social interactions.
  • C. Helpers should calculate the monetary value of their time before assisting anyone.
  • D. Society functions best when helping is heavily taxed and regulated by the government.
Question 4 of 9
Why do we standardize the roles of 'helper' and 'client' similarly to actors in a theatrical performance?
  • A. To ensure that the helper gets paid fairly for their performance.
  • B. To entertain the people who might be observing the interaction.
  • C. To create a social framework where both parties can 'maintain face'.
  • D. To disguise the fact that the helper doesn't actually know what they are doing.
Question 5 of 9
What is the fundamental psychological obstacle that often makes receiving help problematic?
  • A. The receiver often feels a loss of status or feels 'one down'.
  • B. The receiver usually lacks the intelligence to understand the help.
  • C. The helper usually demands too much public gratitude.
  • D. The receiver immediately becomes overly dependent on the helper.
Question 6 of 9
According to the text, what might it mean when a person who needs help attacks or ridicules the helper?
  • A. They have realized the helper is completely incompetent.
  • B. They are trying to restore social equilibrium because they feel powerless.
  • C. They are attempting to shift the relationship from informal to formal help.
  • D. They are naturally aggressive and simply do not want the problem solved.
Question 7 of 9
Which of the following is a way that a helper can unintentionally hinder the helping process?
  • A. By asking too many clarifying questions before taking action.
  • B. By being too reticent and avoiding offering help so they don't offend the person.
  • C. By demanding a formal psychological contract for informal help.
  • D. By forcing the client to solve the problem completely on their own without guidance.
Question 8 of 9
What is the primary purpose of beginning a helping relationship with a 'humble inquiry'?
  • A. To prove to the client that the helper is highly qualified and trustworthy.
  • B. To tease out the real problem and put both parties on an equal footing.
  • C. To establish the helper's authority and dominance early in the conversation.
  • D. To negotiate the economic terms of the helping transaction before starting.
Question 9 of 9
What actionable advice does the author give to ensure your help remains useful over time?
  • A. Periodically check in with the person to see if your help is still required and effective.
  • B. Always ask for a formal psychological contract before proceeding with a task.
  • C. Step back completely after the first day and let the person struggle to build their resilience.
  • D. Take full control of the situation so the client doesn't have to worry about anything.

Helping — Full Chapter Overview

Helping Summary & Overview

Helping (2009) explores a common phenomenon; when we offer help to other people, we’re often met with resistance, ungratefulness and even resentment. Drawing from a variety of real-life scenarios, author Edgar Schein describes the social and psychological dynamics that underlie this most fundamental human activity and, perhaps more importantly, how we can ensure that our help is both welcome and genuinely useful. 

Who Should Listen to Helping?

  • Educators, therapists and lawyers looking to provide more effective assistance
  • Team-players in the corporate world
  • Anyone looking to be a better helper in their day-to-day lives 

About the Author: Edgar H. Schein

Edgar H. Schein is a world-renowned expert on organizational culture. He has lectured at the MIT Sloan School of Management and made important contributions in the areas of career development and group process consultation. His landmark work, Organizational Culture and Leadership (1985), is a classic reference book for managers and organizers everywhere.

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