Attached audiobook cover - The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love

Attached

The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love

Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

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Categories:
PsychologySex & Relationships

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Attached
The Science of Attachment+
Anxious Attachment Style+
Avoidant Attachment Style+
Secure Attachment Style+
Effective Communication+
Conflict Resolution+
Finding the Right Partner+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8
According to the study mentioned in the book, what happens physically when female participants in a stressful situation hold their partner's hand?
  • A. Their heart rate significantly increases.
  • B. Their hypothalamus becomes less active.
  • C. They release high levels of adrenaline.
  • D. Their blood pressure spikes temporarily.
Question 2 of 8
Which of the following best describes the origin of our basic need for attachment?
  • A. It is primarily a learned behavior influenced by modern culture and media.
  • B. It is embedded in our genes because our ancestors relied on each other to survive.
  • C. It is completely and exclusively determined by how our parents treated us in childhood.
  • D. It develops only after a person experiences their first romantic relationship as an adult.
Question 3 of 8
How do individuals with an anxious attachment style typically react when their partner is temporarily unavailable, such as missing a phone call?
  • A. They enjoy the temporary independence and focus on their own tasks.
  • B. They assume their partner is busy and wait calmly for a call back.
  • C. They take the behavior personally and worry that their partner no longer loves them.
  • D. They immediately seek out a new romantic interest to fulfill their needs.
Question 4 of 8
Why do people with an avoidant attachment style often focus on small, irritating flaws in their partners, like the way they sneeze or drink coffee?
  • A. They use these flaws as an excuse to maintain emotional distance while waiting for the "perfect" partner.
  • B. They are highly sensitive to sensory stimuli and easily get overwhelmed in close proximity.
  • C. They subconsciously test their partner's willingness to change and adapt for the relationship.
  • D. They want to communicate deeper issues but lack the emotional vocabulary to express themselves.
Question 5 of 8
What is a key benefit of having at least one partner with a secure attachment style in a relationship?
  • A. They will completely change their insecure partner's attachment style within a few months.
  • B. They can read signals easily and mollify difficulties caused by another attachment style.
  • C. They demand equal emotional distance, creating a highly balanced and independent dynamic.
  • D. They avoid conflict entirely by agreeing with whatever their partner wants or needs.
Question 6 of 8
According to the book, what is the secret to effective communication when bringing up a concern to your partner?
  • A. Waiting until the problem is undeniable and affects daily life before discussing it.
  • B. Listing all past grievances at once to show a clear pattern of negative behavior.
  • C. Being specific about the problem without assigning blame to your partner.
  • D. Using hypothetical scenarios to avoid making the conversation too personal or confrontational.
Question 7 of 8
When having a conflict with your partner, why does the author advise against generalizing the argument?
  • A. Because it ensures that you win the argument more quickly.
  • B. Because bringing up multiple topics at once confuses your partner's attachment style.
  • C. Because restricting the scope of your argument to a specific topic prevents it from escalating.
  • D. Because generalizing problems makes a secure partner more likely to become anxious.
Question 8 of 8
Why does the book argue against the romantic Hollywood idea that "true love" can make any relationship work?
  • A. Because differing attitudes toward intimacy between incompatible attachment styles can make major life compromises nearly impossible.
  • B. Because evolutionary biology shows humans are naturally designed to seek out multiple partners rather than stay with just one.
  • C. Because secure individuals often lose interest in a relationship when there are no major conflicts or drama to resolve.
  • D. Because financial and career stress are consistently stronger predictors of relationship success than emotional connection.

Attached — Full Chapter Overview

Attached Summary & Overview

Attached (2010) is all about how to make your relationships work. This book offers you valuable insight into the science of adult attachment and how to use this insight in everyday life, whether you’re in a committed relationship or are still looking for love. It also provides tips and tricks on how to find the perfect partner and reveals why some people just aren’t compatible.

Who Should Listen to Attached?

  • Anyone who wants to make a current relationship happier and more fulfilling
  • Anyone who is struggling to find “the one”
  • Anyone who just doesn’t understand why their relationships never work out

About the Author: Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller

Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel S. F. Heller are close friends who decided to write a book to help others make better decisions in their romantic lives.

Dr. Levine grew up in Israel and is a psychiatrist and neuroscientist. He is also the principal investigator for a research project sponsored by the National Institutes of Health. Heller graduated from Columbia University with a master’s degree in social-organizational psychology, and has worked for a number of management consulting firms, including PriceWaterhouseCoopers, KPMG Consulting and Towers Perrin.

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