Raising a Secure Child audiobook cover - How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

Raising a Secure Child

How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child’s Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell with Christine M. Benton

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Parenting

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Mind Map

Raising a Secure Child
Importance of Secure Attachment+
The Circle of Security Framework+
Handling Mistakes (Ruptures)+
Overcoming Inherited Blind Spots+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8
According to the research by John Bowlby and Harry Harlow discussed in the text, what do infants prioritize most for their overall well-being?
  • A. A consistent supply of food and physical sustenance.
  • B. A reliable source of emotional comfort and reassurance.
  • C. A warm, well-clothed environment with plenty of toys.
  • D. Early socialization with other infants of the same age.
Question 2 of 8
How can a lack of secure attachment physically affect a child's health?
  • A. It triggers stress-related cortisol production, which slows metabolism and weakens the immune system.
  • B. It reduces the production of cortisol, leading to chronic fatigue and lethargy.
  • C. It causes an overactive metabolism, resulting in severe weight loss and malnutrition.
  • D. It accelerates cognitive development as the brain compensates for emotional deficits.
Question 3 of 8
In the 'Circle of Security' framework, what role does a caregiver play when a child is returning to them after exploring?
  • A. A 'secure base' that encourages the child to immediately seek out new challenges.
  • B. A strict director who evaluates what the child learned during their playtime.
  • C. A 'safe haven' providing protection, comfort, and appreciation.
  • D. A passive observer who allows the child to self-soothe independently.
Question 4 of 8
When a child is actively exploring their environment (at the top of the circle), which of the following is one of their primary needs from a caregiver?
  • A. To be shielded from all potential physical risks and challenges.
  • B. To have their activities closely directed and structured by the caregiver.
  • C. To be praised exclusively for their successful achievements.
  • D. To have the caregiver enjoy activities alongside them without directing the play.
Question 5 of 8
When a child returns to their caregiver feeling scared, what is the best way to help them 'organize their feelings'?
  • A. Tell them to relax and explain that there is nothing to be nervous about.
  • B. Distract them with a new toy so they quickly forget their fear.
  • C. Listen to them and validate their feelings by saying it is okay to be nervous.
  • D. Encourage them to replace their feelings of fear with a happy smile.
Question 6 of 8
What do the authors suggest a parent should do when they make a mistake and 'rupture the circle'?
  • A. Ignore the mistake to avoid drawing the child's attention to the negative interaction.
  • B. Acknowledge the unaddressed need, apologize, and reconnect with the child.
  • C. Compensate by buying the child a gift or offering them their favorite treat.
  • D. Strive to become a 'perfect parent' so the child never experiences disappointment.
Question 7 of 8
If a caregiver is uncomfortable with a child's negative emotions and only provides affection when the child smiles, what is the likely outcome?
  • A. The child will naturally outgrow their negative emotions and become permanently optimistic.
  • B. The child will learn to suppress their true feelings to maintain a connection with the caregiver.
  • C. The child will become more emotionally independent and entirely self-reliant.
  • D. The child will seek out other adults who can help them express their anger.
Question 8 of 8
How do the authors recommend caregivers start fixing their own imbalances regarding closeness or independence?
  • A. Seek intensive psychological therapy before attempting to reconnect with the child.
  • B. Completely change their parenting style overnight to shock the child into a new routine.
  • C. Force themselves to have 15 to 30 seconds of proximity or distance a few times a day.
  • D. Use constant verbal praise to mask their internal discomfort and insecurity.

Raising a Secure Child — Full Chapter Overview

Raising a Secure Child Summary & Overview

Raising a Secure Child (2017) is a guide for new or expecting parents wanting to make sure they meet the many needs of their child. Hoffman et al. are experts in helping caregivers form healthy bonds with their kids while reminding parents not to get hung up on being perfect. The authors also show how parents can better understand their own insecurities and make sure they don’t pass them on to their children.

Who Should Listen to Raising a Secure Child?

  • Current or expecting parents
  • Nannies and childcare professionals
  • Students of social work and child psychology

About the Author: Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell with Christine M. Benton

Kent Hoffman, Glen Cooper and Bert Powell have shared a clinical practice in Spokane, Washington since 1985. They developed the circle of security theory to assist and educate both parents and professionals, and have also published the book The Circle of Security Intervention: Enhancing Attachment in Early Parent-Child Relationships (2013).

Christine M Benton is a Chicago-based writer and editor whose self-help books have specialized in health and psychology. She is also the co-writer of Winter Blues Survival Guide: A Workbook for Overcoming SAD (2013) and Your Defiant Child (1998).

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