What will I learn about: the RULER framework—Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, and Regulate—to stop suppressing feelings and start mastering your emotional health?

Discover the RULER framework—Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, and Regulate—to stop suppressing feelings and start mastering your emotional health.

What will I learn about: the difference between integral and incidental emotions so you can properly process your own reactions and extend grace to others?

Understand the difference between integral and incidental emotions so you can properly process your own reactions and extend grace to others.

What will I learn about: accurately recognize unspoken emotions in others by closely observing their facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language?

Learn how to accurately recognize unspoken emotions in others by closely observing their facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.

What will I learn about: Uncover the true root of unique emotional responses by asking targeted 'why' questions, allowing you to move past surface-level feelings to actionable solutions?

Uncover the true root of unique emotional responses by asking targeted 'why' questions, allowing you to move past surface-level feelings to actionable solutions.

What will I learn about: Expand your emotional vocabulary beyond the standard few words to avoid mislabeling your feelings and ensure you receive the proper support from others?

Expand your emotional vocabulary beyond the standard few words to avoid mislabeling your feelings and ensure you receive the proper support from others.

Permission to Feel

Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive

Marc Brackett

★ 4.6 / 5(226 ratings)

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Categories:

Parenting Psychology

If You're Curious About These Questions...

You should listen to this audiobook

💡Did you know that the simple act of accurately naming an emotion can actually change how your brain processes stress and improves your physical health?
💡Have you ever wondered why some people can stay calm in a crisis while others burn out, and what secret 'emotion skills' are the key to their resilience?
💡What if you could transform your relationships at home and at work by mastering the one critical life skill that most of us were never actually taught?

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Key Takeaways from Permission to Feel

✓Discover the RULER framework—Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, and Regulate—to stop suppressing feelings and start mastering your emotional health.
✓Understand the difference between integral and incidental emotions so you can properly process your own reactions and extend grace to others.
✓Learn how to accurately recognize unspoken emotions in others by closely observing their facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language.
✓Uncover the true root of unique emotional responses by asking targeted 'why' questions, allowing you to move past surface-level feelings to actionable solutions.
✓Expand your emotional vocabulary beyond the standard few words to avoid mislabeling your feelings and ensure you receive the proper support from others.

Learning Tools

Reinforce what you learned from Permission to Feel

Mind Map

Permission to Feel

The Cost of Suppression+

Harnessing Negative Emotions+

Becoming an Emotion Scientist+

The RULER Framework+

Real-World Application+

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Question 1 of 8

How does the book describe the relationship between our emotional and cognitive processes?

A. They operate independently, allowing us to choose between thinking with our 'head' or our 'heart.'
B. Emotions act as a distraction to logical reasoning and should be suppressed during decision-making.
C. They are deeply interconnected, with emotions influencing how we perceive the world, concentrate, and make decisions.
D. Cognitive processes dictate our emotions, meaning we can logic our way out of feeling negative emotions.

Question 2 of 8

According to the author, what is a surprising benefit of experiencing short-term fear or anxiety?

A. It triggers a release of endorphins that ultimately leads to a state of extreme joy.
B. It narrows our focus, bringing out an inner perfectionist that helps us catch details and consider risks.
C. It forces us to confront other people and establish healthy boundaries in our relationships.
D. It completely shuts down our cognitive loop, allowing our brains to rest and repair.

Question 3 of 8

Which of the following statements is true regarding emotional intelligence and emotion skills?

A. Emotional intelligence is closely linked to a person's IQ; people with high IQs naturally understand emotions better.
B. Humans are born with innate emotion skills that simply need to be unlocked over time.
C. Gaining emotion skills means achieving a perfect zen state where you no longer experience anger or frustration.
D. Emotion skills must be actively practiced and learned, much like playing a sport or computer programming.

Question 4 of 8

What two key attributes does the 'mood meter' use to help categorize and identify different emotions?

A. Energy and pleasantness
B. Intensity and duration
C. Rationality and physical response
D. Internal triggers and external triggers

Question 5 of 8

What did the UCLA experiment involving participants with severe arachnophobia demonstrate about labeling emotions?

A. Describing events in neutral, objective language is the best way to overcome a phobia.
B. Accurately labeling strong feelings actually makes those fears more real and intense.
C. Articulating and labeling specific feelings makes the feared object or emotion less powerful.
D. Phobias can only be cured by completely ignoring the negative emotions associated with them.

Question 6 of 8

How does the book distinguish the healthy 'Expressing' of emotions from simply acting out or dumping feelings on others?

A. Expressing involves using a loud, authoritative voice to ensure others understand your boundaries.
B. Expressing means writing down your feelings in a private journal so no one else has to deal with them.
C. Expressing is about showing vulnerability to let people understand the feelings beneath your bad mood.
D. Expressing requires you to immediately confront the person who triggered your negative emotion.

Question 7 of 8

Why is it crucial for adults to practice their own emotion skills when dealing with young children?

A. Because young children learn to suppress their emotions by watching adults do the same.
B. Because young children lack the ability to regulate their own intense emotions and rely on adults for 'coregulation.'
C. Because children are born with high emotional intelligence and will judge adults who lack it.
D. Because adults need to teach children that throwing tantrums is an acceptable form of emotional expression.

Question 8 of 8

The author developed a syllabus of five key emotion skills known by the acronym RULER. What does this stand for?

A. Reacting, Uncovering, Listening, Empathizing, and Resolving
B. Recognizing, Understanding, Labeling, Expressing, and Regulating
C. Rationalizing, Uniting, Learning, Evaluating, and Responding
D. Realizing, Undertaking, Leveraging, Experiencing, and Releasing

Permission to Feel — Full Chapter Overview

1Recommendation
2Learning to identify and accept his feelings changed the author's life.
3Emotions help us understand ourselves and navigate our way through life.
4Befriending our difficult emotions truly enables us to harness them for positive results.
5Humans aren’t born with emotion skills, yet we can all learn to become emotion scientists.
6The RULER program urges us to begin gathering information by Recognizing and Understanding emotions.
7Labeling strong emotions with precise, specific language makes them less frightening.
8Expressing and regulating our emotions will help us better manage situations that trigger us.
9Regulating our own emotions helps us teach our children ways to better manage theirs.
10Applying the RULER curriculum can spark an emotion revolution in our schools and workplaces.

Permission to Feel Summary & Overview

Permission to Feel (2019) reveals that our emotions play a vital role in our cognitive processes, physical health, and relationships – but most of us don’t know how to identify exactly what we’re feeling, and why. Luckily, all of us can learn to be more emotionally intelligent by practicing emotion skills. This trains us to identify what we’re feeling, understand where the emotion is coming from, and manage our triggers. By giving ourselves permission to truly experience all of our emotions, we can greatly reduce stress and increase our well-being.

Who Should Listen to Permission to Feel?

Burned-out teachers who want to reconnect with their students
Parents who want to teach their children how to deal with their emotions
Anyone struggling to manage their emotions at home or at work

About the Author: Marc Brackett

Marc Brackett, PhD, is a research psychologist, the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and a professor in the Child Study Center at Yale University. He is also the lead developer of RULER, a curriculum for developing emotional intelligence, which has been taught to over one million students of all ages across the globe.

Permission to Feel

If You're Curious About These Questions...

Listen to Permission to Feel — Free Audiobook

Key Takeaways from Permission to Feel

Learning Tools

Mind Map

Quiz — Test Your Understanding

Permission to Feel — Full Chapter Overview

Permission to Feel Summary & Overview

Who Should Listen to Permission to Feel?

About the Author: Marc Brackett

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